November 2002 Archives

*lol* If I was a character in Star Wars my name would be Witva Gemun. Sounds a bit weird (thanks Cat).

Vanina yesterday afternoon: "Tonight I'm going to stay home and be quiet".
I ended up going to Fabric with Freddie and Chris. It was really nice and everything, I danced like crazy, talked a lot with the 2 guys - they are really really nice. I knew already about Freddie but not about Chris. So I was really happy. And we got home early (3) which is good because I'm going out again tonight, with Sophie and Kirsty and some other people. Coooool...
(I'm gonna be dead by tomorrow *lol*)
For emails and comments... Maybe tomorrow or monday. I have no energy whatsoever right now. :)

I am tired... I am not used to wake up before 9 anymore!!! But I'm quite lucky as I have only one 9 o'clock class in the whole week. Kekeke.
My vietnamese is really bad... I seriously need to study.
I am a bit depressed - I woke up with a bad headache, I am fat (one of my jeans almost doesn't fit me anymore :/ I have to STOP eating junk food. Or stop eating. :/), I am ignorant in vietnamese! But they all are "changeable" things. So it's ok. Ah ah ah. I'm gonna be ok.
If you have a livejournal... Mail me! I want more friends on livejournal! *^^*
What else? I had nice conversations with Freddie yesterday, on how wonderful London is and how great our life is now - and everything has changed since last year. And I had a really long chat on the phone with Alli - about uni, last year, drugs, gym, ex-boyfriends... It was nice... I am happy to have my friends. They are (for me) the best friends in the world... *^^*

[eight songs that get stuck in your head frequently]
1. Avril Lavigne, Things I'll never say
2. Biagio Antonacci, se io se lei
3. Nelly Furtado, I'm like a bird
4. Pink, Just like a pill
5. The Cure. Want
6. Vanessa Carlton, A thousand miles
7. Ultra, Rescue me
8. Puddle of Mudd, Blurry
[four beverages you drink frequently]
1. Water
2. Milk
3. Tea
4. Vodka & lemonade
[five tv shows you liked when you were a little kid]
1. Sailor Moon
2. Will the prince of Bel Air
3. Beverly Hills 90210
4. I PUFFI!!!
5. Candy
[six places to go in your area]
1. Sahara Nights (pub)
2. King's Cross (because it's a beautiful station)
3. UCL union
4. ULU
5. Fabric
6. Russell Square park
[four things to do when you're bored]
1. Read blogs
2. Blog
3. Read books & manga
4. Sleep
[four things that never fail to cheer you up]
1. Being with my friends
2. Be hugged or kissed
3. Ice cream
4. A good movie
[four things you can't live without]
1. My computer
2. My books
3. My clothes
4. Incense
[about ten years ago *list three things*]
1. I was in Rome
2. I was naturally blonde
3. I was a happy kid
[about two years ago *list three things*]
1. I met my actual best friend, Alli, and Federica
2. I started to hate my life
3. I seriously started to dream about London
[about one year ago *list three things*]
1. I hated my life - completely
2. I had been in a long term relationship for more than 2 years
3. I had already sent my application through UCAS to come here
[today...]
1. I am single
2. I am finally happy
3. I have loads of friends
[seven things you love]
1. To feel loved
2. To cry at the end of a movie, or a book
3. To be with my friends and just chat
4. To work on my computer, skin and blog
5. To sleep
6. To look at my own reflection
7. To smoke by the river with the breeze blowing on my face
[seven things you dislike]
1. Music too loud
2. A dirty kitchen
3. 70s series on tv
4. To feel lonely
5. To sleep in the afternoon
6. To write essays
7. To walk on my own
[seven things on your desk]
1. My laptop
2. Pictures of my parents and best friends
3. My wallet
4. Various plushies
5. Candles and incense
6. Cigarettes
7. My phone (loads of stuff left out)
[seven facts about you]
1. I've changed hair coulour almost every year since I'm 13
2. I am addicted to clothes and accessories
3. I don't like to do things on my own (cooking, walking, etc.)
4. I am actually shy (in real life, not on the internet)
5. I love to have long (natural) nails - they're shexy!
6. I don't study much because I absorb informations quickly!!!
7. I am a cleaning freak
[7 artists/bands/people should give a listen to]
1. Avril Lavigne
2. The Cure
3. Alicia Keys
4. Nelly Furtado
5. Garbage
6. Vanessa Carlton
7. David Gray
[nine things you like about the opposite/same sex]
1. Big hands
2. Blue eyes
3. Soft hair
4. Reflected opinions on today's issues
5. Tall guys!
6. Culture and readings
7. Hips
[four things you would eat on the last day of your life]
1. Granita alla pesca con panna e brioche
2. Chips
3. Pasta al pesto
4. Springrolls
[four records from your collection that you will never get tired of]
1. The Cure, Wild mood swings
2. Avril Lavigne, Let go
3. Nelly Furtado, Whoa Nelly!
4. David Gray, Babylon
[six celebrities you would have sex with]
1. Josh Hartnett
2. Johnny Depp
3. Callan Mulvay (not really a celebrity but oh well...)
4. Shakira
5. Ewan McGregor
6. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
[four vacations you have taken]
1. Barcelona
2. South America
3. Dublin
4. Colorado
[four things you'd like to learn]
1. German
2. Japanese
3. To use Photoshop
4. To draw well
That was the coolest survey ever. Stolen from Alexa. ^^

Both my essays are finished. Done. I'M DONE DONE DONE DONE!
me is so happy *^^*
Later tonight I'll study Vietnamese - now I'll have plenty of time to do it! Yay!

1027 words into my essay on over-population and poverty. It's quite interesting and in the end I think I am organizing it pretty well. And I think a choose a good subject... I am happy ^^ And I have the whole afternoon to finish writing it. Cool... I am not going out tonight! And I am happy with that - I need to stay home. And I don't have a lot of money this week so it's even better. And I am going to eat healthy stuff as I did my groceries yesterday. I'm really proud of myself! The next step is to throughly clean my bathroom because it's starting to be a bit disgusting. Like... It's generally clean but dirty in the corners. *lol* And my tv doesn't work and I can't stand to see it sitting on the desk anymore, so I'll take it down and put it in a corner. And clean my desk... And do my washing... I am going to do all this stuff later on today.
And I also have to study vietnamese - I have so much to catch up!!! I feel ignorant everytime I hear my classmates ^^;;

Yeah Jana, Boys don't cry is just like that - you watch it and you go... Wow, this is true. This is real. The world can really be like that. People really act like that. It makes you want to change the world even more. I highly recommend that movie - it's so good. But shocking. In a positive way. Hilary Swank is just amazing. And it's so stange to look at her picture now - she looks so feminine, but in the movie she really looked manly. Not physically, but her attitude was so manly. That must be a proof of how good she is - getting to change her attitude so much, just the way of moving and smiling and all that stuff. And Chloe Sevigny is incredible too. I love her - she's such a good actress.
Oh about Chloe Sevigny, has someone watched The Last Days of Disco? It was the weirdest movie I've ever seen, but it was really good too (one of those random movies I watched when my parents got cable last year - I miss cable tv and 6 movie channels! *sniff*).
And I'm gonna buy Naomi Klein's new book as soon as I have the money (me broke *sniff*).
What else? Mmh... I was quite impressed by Nana's new spoilers (thank you Misatuccia per avere un sito cosi' bello e tenere tutti noi poveri Yaza fan continuamente aggiornati ^^Y ti ammiro molto per tutto il lavoro che metti nel tuo sito). I love that manga - I think it's my favourite one right now, along with ParaKiss and maybe... I don't know, Mars and X? It sure is in my top ten of "best manga ever".
Oddio come sono logorroica oggi O_O

Cat, stavo postando dagli imac (ultrafiki) della mia classe XD
Anyway, my laptop is a Dell Inspiron 4150 with:
Pentium 4 2,00 GHZ processor
512 Mo RAM
Mobility Radeon 7500C 32 Mo Video card
Matshita CDRW/DVD player
Modem + Ethernet card
14.1" screen (I think - it's really good anyway ^^)
30 Go hard disk
That's all I think? It's a REALLY good laptop. It was my birthday present from my parents. But it wasn't actually that expensive for a laptop - I just was really lucky and got a lot of special prices on different stuff (like the RAM and CDRW/DVD). I love my computer so much *^^*
Still have to start my essay. But tomorrow I have all day to do it so it's ok. And I'm gonna wake up at 9 or 9.30 to work. Good good good.
Oh and I just got back from Sainsbury's - I spent 30 £ on groceries! I really needed it. And I went with Dulcie, and we both had massive amounts of stuff, so we just got a trolley all the way back to our halls (apparently everyone in our halls is doing it - there is a guy from Sainsbury's just going around the neighborhood getting the trolleys back XD)... It was tiring *lol* But now I have LOADS of food. Good good good. ^^ And healthy food too - lots of vegetables and fruits and stuff like that. I only got some ice cream - but it's the only junk food I've got!!! *lol*
I have like... I don't know, I am starting to feel strange about James again. He's so cute and nice. And we really love each other to bits I think. It was so sweet this morning when he walked into the kitchen where I was having my breakfast he kissed me on the top of my head. That's so sweet!!! But I know nothing is going to happen - ever. Probably. It would just be stupid. But I think we can be best friends or something like that.
I also gave my present to Sophie (it was her birthday on saturday - I got her a nice funky purse) and she loved it - I was really happy about that. ^^
Life is so nice with me... I feel too lucky (I know I am saying it all the time, but it's just so true...)!!! Thanks world for being so beautiful ^^

From vietnamese class - I can't understand anything!

Ok.. Lots of things to say!
First - it was such a nice week end with my parents... We went to theatre and cinema and watched 2 movies on tv and ate together and walked and... I love my parents... I sound cheesy I know but they're such nice people XD And I went shopping (4 tops of which 2 really sexy ones, 1 pair of miss sixty jeans) and to the hairdresser (I don't have horrible mice colour roots anymore)... I want a webcam so bad!!! I am a drama queen ^^
Then... On saturday night I went out for a drink with my best friend Alli - it was the first time I was seeing her in 5 months! I didn't realise how much I had missed her until I saw her. We spent 3+ hours chatting about everything but mostly... Guys! It was nice ^^
Then... I have to comment lots of things!
First go and give love to roses who decided she wants to come to London to study in 2 years because of MY BLOG! I am so excited about that *^^*
Rika, I definitely think you should spend at least a semester in England - you can't imagine how cool is the social environment - and there are such good universities in London. Is an experience I think EVERYBODY needs!!!! *lol* And I understand you about NY - you know I love it??? I think it's the best city in the US - actually I must say... It's the only one I really like ^^;;; I've been there just 1 day two summers ago and well... It was GORGEOUS. Can I come and visit you when you'll live in NY??? ^^
The strange thing about me is - I feel like I belong to at least 3 or 4 different cities. London and Paris and Rome... And Munich a bit and also Turin... And Perugia...
Talking about that - I'm quite excited about something else too! I'm going to visit Croatia next summer! With Jana! That's so cool. And I'll find out about my roots - my grandmother was from Rijeka/Fiume! And my mom is happy about it too. And everything looks beautiful in the pictures - I didn't even know a place that beautiful existed in Europe. *lol*
I'll buy the Naomi Klein book as soon as I can - is it as good as No Logo??
Oh and for Stefania - thank you for saying my blog is wicked - that's the coolest british expression ever XD I love it.
As seen at Ruby's, the ILM shuffle mp3 game or "Load every single MP3 you have into WinAMP, hit 'shuffle' and list the first ten songs that come up"!
(it will be embarassing *lol*)
1. Sky - You : I don't know where I downloaded it, I don't know who the girl is but I love the song. Go and download it! Really funky. ^^ You, you make me wanna fly above the city lights... I like it ^^
2. Leann Rimes - But I do love you : That's already quite embarassing. It's such a cheesy song. But oh well. I liked Coyote Ugly (I just ruined my reputation, didn't I???)
3. 4 Clubbers - Children : Oh my god. Italian club music. Deejay Parade... Bad bad bad ^^;;; It's just that I need to hear some really really bad club music sometimes... XD Oh and yeah it's a Robert Miles (aka Roberto Milesi, it always makes me laugh XD) cover, if you can call it a cover.
4. Morcheeba - Otherwise : I dowloaded Morcheeba's Charango before coming to Paris and haven't really listened to it yet. But it's hella good :)
5. Gackt - Dears : *lol*lol*lol* I downloaded Gackt's Mars again a couple weeks ago - it's too good XD Il divino cACCO!!!!!!!!! ^^ I have to get Rie to translate the song for me. ^^
6. Brandy - Full Moon - Why do only the bad commercial stuff come on??? Actually I don't like to make distinctions - if I like a song I don't care whether it's commercial or alternative or anything - it doesn't mean anything to me. And I like Brandy, she's so cute. The boy is mine was a favourite of mine for a long time.
7. Atomic Kitten - It's ok : I don't even like the song :/ Downloaded it by chance.
8. Ivy - Undertow : I have 2 songs by her, as usual I don't really know who she is, but I can tell you she's damn good. ^^ It's that kind of melancholic singer... With a mysterious voice.
9. The Calling - Unstoppable : How cute is their singer? I want to sh... ehm marry him (no not really XD he's so sexy!!!). I like just 2 or 3 songs from their album, and Unstoppable is one of them. I know it's a kind of boysbandish music, a bit conventional, but he has such a nice voice it just pays back for every fault they could have.
10. Garbage - Can't cry these tears : I have been listening to Garbage for at least 3 or 4 years. I love them!!! I just love EVERY damn song they make. It's crazy.
Ok, it wasn't too bad. Oh and go see Ruby's dolls they're so cute *^^*
I think I said everything I wanted to say. I hope! *lol*

Going back tomorrow. I feel happy and sad at the same time. I love both Paris and London too deeply... I now feel they're both MY cities, where I belong... Weird...
Anyway, per :rolleyes: punto primo devi spiegarmi cosa significa esattamente "che odio questo modo di scrivere da scema 14enne manda SMS"??? Non ne capisco veramente il senso. E punto secondo, se vuoi veramente insultare (gratuitamente), almeno abbi le palle di mettere il nome vero, un indirizzo email o l'indirizzo di un sito - cos'e', hai paura che qualcuno ti faccia la bua?
Now I'm going to bed... I love my bed here, so big and warm and comfy... And my room... Ok I'll tell you tomorrow. Goodnight.

Oh my god I missed Paris - and my room...
Quick note to say:
- just watched Boys don't cry, beautiful beautiful beautiful and really really sad
- Now I know how I have to do my essay!!!! Yay!
- I can't use this keyboard anymore, so if you see a q instead of an a don't worry *lol*
I don't think I'll post again before going back on monday - same for the emails and stuff... Sooooo... A lunedi' :)

I felt a bit depressed this morning - thought I was doing everything wrong, love life, school work, etc etc but now I am better. Way better. And I'm so happy I'm gonna see my parents tonight, I really miss them... I know I sound cheesy but it's true! My parents are the best - they're understanding, I can tell them (almost) everything, they have always treated me as an adult, ALWAYS, they ask me for my opinion, and above all, they love me to bits. It's great to have parents like that - I've seen many of my friends hating their parents and having horrible relationships with them... I feel lucky because they always thought I was clever enough to take my own decisions. ^^
Anyway. Lu-chan, che fiko sei nella posta di ParaKiss 6 XD *lol* mi ha fatto troppo ridere vedere che c'era una tua lettera!!!! ^^ About the cellphone (is it ok if I write in english? Should be ^^), if you get one with a pay monthly plan it means you'll have to pay every month for usually at least 12 months and then the cellphone will be yours - the problem is that during those 12 months you can use the cellphone ONLY with that sim card... Other sim cards won't work. I am sorry ^^;;;
As for the picture, I really don't know where you could find them - a couple of months ago I was looking for London's picture and couldn't find them... It took 2 hours to find a decent one =_=
Misato-san, la prossima volta rispondo sul tuo blog promesso... Adesso pero' non ho il tempo - aaaaaah I have a tutorial at 2 and my train to catch at 5 - I HATE WATERLOO!!! And to spend 3 hours in a train =_= I'll try to study!!! Argh.
What else? Oh yes, A beautiful mind. I thought it was a really good movie but... Not THAT good. I don't really know if it deserved all those oscars... But I have to admit Russell Crowe was amazing - so good! A bit like Leonardo di Caprio in that movie, where he played a retarded (is it ok to say retarded??? I don't know! Tell me of it's bad!!!!) kid... Amazing. Oh and Rika yeah I know it's a true story - I am a bit disappointed that they left out the whole sexuality part... They probably thought that it wouldn't have the same success if it was about sexuality issues too. Why is our world dominated by backwardness???
Ok, I'm going to try and finish one of my readings for my essay - and maybe eat something and pack my bag for the week-end... PARIS I'M COMING BACK!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! XD

I was planning to go to Sahara nights with sophie and kirsty and stay there 1 hour - I ended up getting drunk (1 smirnoff ice - 2 vodka lemonade & lime - 1 vodka orange - 2 baileys) and stoned... And a bit depressed - apparently dave and kirsty are going out now. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. ok i don't really care about dave anymore but he's cute and well... i feel inferior. i know i am prettier than kirsty but she has so many things to say and i don't know... i just... i don't know, i am quiet and don't talk a lot. fuck.
and then freddie's best mate (chris) is SO CUTE. but he has an almost girlfriend. i didn't even really try to... i don't know. aaaaaaaaaah now i feel bad.
but i'm happy - going to paris tomorrow... i can't wait. and i won't think about all this shit for 3 days.
and i miss tom... i want to talk to him. i want to go back with him. he was good for me. everything was good - he is cute, nice, he cares about me, he worries about me and... ok i can't talk about that *eheheh*
can you tell i'm stoned/drunk??? hell yeah!!!
oooooh and with sophie we decided we're gonna go to fabric on BOTH friday and saturday - it's gonna kill me but i don't care!!! ah ah ah. fun fun fun. ooooh and chris is gonna be there on friday and as i go very touchy-feely with pills... we'll i could try to... i don't know, kiss him? only that, i swear. no sex. no no no.
gotta go to sleep. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *lol* /me stoned

From Fortune's list of most powerful women in business:
rank: 9 - Marina Berlusconi - Vice Chairman, Fininvest - It's disgusting. It really is :/
rank: 27 - Sawako Noma - President and CEO, KODANSHA!!! - *lol*lol*lol* Wicked!!!
rank: 43 - Donatella Versace - Chief Designer and CEO, Gianni Versace - Am I the only one to think Versace's fashion is CRAP??? Especially since Donatella has been doing everything???
Lots of chinese women in the list too. It's really weird...

Blogger erased one of my posts ;__;
Basically I was saying:
1. I am pissed off at Imood because it doesn't work
2. It was lovely to see Jana and I'm going to Croatia next summer
3. I'm really happy because I am getting to know better some people that I think are fantastic (Dulcie, Dominic, Dean, etc.)
4. I can't wait to be in Paris, see my parents and eat some decent stuff Voila'. Gotta go to start readings and eat something. ME HUNGRY!!!

I've seen Amelie again - for the 5th time. How come everytime I see it I cry?
To add in the list of "the best things in the world": to cry at the end of a film. It's so nice.
(yaaaaah I am a weirdo @_@)
Goodnight!

YAYYYYYYYYY I only have to write the introduction (280 words, which is really nothing), but I think I'll wait until my dad reads it... On thursday I am going to try to find some other quotations though... Cool ^^ (even if it's a crappy essay, I'm just happy I'm almost finished with it ^^) Now I have nothing to do apart from reading the other books - before starting to write the other essay I want to wait until I see what happens during the tutorial on the same subject. ^^
I feel I shoud finish skinning that Nana picture, but I really can't be bothered - I just want to chill a bit! And tomorrow morning I have to study a bit more vietnamese or I'll sound like a fool again on thursday =_= /me stoopid
Why have people stopped commenting??? ;___; Please keep commenting!!! I luv' it ^^
Per Misato-san: Oh Misatuccia (ma ti da fastidio essere chiamata cosi'? No perche' io lo faccio senza neanche accorgermene - mi viene naturale dare nomignoli pucciosi alle persone XD) dicevamo... Si si mi sa che dobbiamo entrambe rileggerci Jack Frusciante - chissa' che non cambiamo entrambe idea??? ^^;;; Oh e mi spiace per i furti - ma perche' la gente e' cosi' stupida??? Ok che scrivere i testi per un fansite e' difficile, pero' insomma! Mica ci vorra' cosi' tanto! Ti diro', a me e' successo solo un paio di volte di subire furti telematici, ma mi sono sempre incazzata come una faina - perche' devo fare tutto il lavoraccio io e qualcun'altro si deve prendere il merito? No no no! E per il discorso uni... Quando ti capisco! L'anno scorso, per essere sinceri, il mondo mi sembrava una gran mer*a e adesso... Studio cose che mi piacciono da morire, ho conosciuto delle persone fantastiche... E fino a quest'estate non avrei mai immaginato che sarebbe stato cosi' bello!
Per Satine: Cara, non saprei, chi potrei essere della tua famiglia??? Io per queste cose ho fantasia zero sorry XD
Per Danichan sulla tagboard: Grazie per leggere le mie cavolate ogni giorno - mi chiedo... Ma e' veramente interessante??? Penso che sembri piuttosto come una telenovela... *lol* Per quel riguarda L'ultimo bacio... Ok, posso capire che una donna voglia avere un figlio ecc. ecc., ma sinceramente secondo me esagerano un po' nel film - e' tutto cosi' melenso!!! Non penso di essere troppo piccola per capire questo genere di cose - posso capirlo benissimo... E' solo che mi da' fastidio vedere le cose messe in modo cosi' melodrammatico, e soprattutto dovermi sorbire un film pieno di persone che si prendono in giro tipo adolescenti alle prime armi - com'e' possibile che quei due nel film non riescano ad avere un rapporto adulto??? Non riescono neanche a parlarsi... E' un po' fastidioso insomma - c'e' da chiedersi perche' cavolo si sono messi insieme dall'inizio... *lol* Come sono drastica! Cmq, grazie per il consiglio - lo so benissimo che gli uomini ragionano spesso con il pisello...
Io mi chiedo - perche' noi donne siamo capaci di pensare a un rapporto equilibrato tra sesso e sentimenti, o quantomeno a un rapporto che oltre che sul sesso si basi anche su un qualche tipo di intimita' psicologica, e gli uomini non ci riescono??? Booooh...
(Come parlo fiko oggi *lol*)
Oooops I babbled a bit too much in italian today - sorry XD I couldn't help myself - I can't stand to write in english now that I (almost) finished my essay! *lol*
Anyway. Today the most embarassing thing happened to me (a bit like what happened to Markelle) - here we have a common laundry room... So today I was doing my washing and when I went back to pick it up I found out I had left not one but TWO pairs panties on the floor. I just hope not too many people saw them, or at least no one I know saw they were mine *sigh*
I CAN'T STAND PASTA NOR CHINESE FOOD ANYMORE! I can't wait to be home on friday and have a nice dinner prepared by my loved dad ;__; And to see my mum!
Oh, and concerning my parents: can someone explain why on earth 6 FUCKING RADIATORS were stolen from their house in tuscany???!!!??? I really don't get it... (actually, it could be quite funny if it wasn't a complete hassle to replace them)

1422 words in my comparative economic growth essay - another 1078 to go... *sigh* I think I just got the most boring subject in the world for my essay question - seriously, is TOO BAD (and I am writing a crappy essay, but what can I do? I have so little to write anyway...).
I also studied vietnamese this afternoon... I am so tired now... And I still have to take a shower, wash my hair etc. etc., and I seriously have to write another 200-300 words tonight, at LEAST. Than I am not gonna touch it until thursday or friday. I could even finish it while I am in Paris... No no when I am in Paris I need to read the books for the other essay, which I feel is much more interesting and important.
The fact is, for comparative economic growth I have 3 essays during the year, and only the 2 best marks will count... And the tutor who is correcting them looks pretty much easy going. For development: conditions and experience though... I have only 2 essays to do and THEY COUNT in any case, and the tutor looks pretty though. AAAAAAAAH I am scared. And I want to see how I did on the South East Asian one... I think it was pretty good.
I am so scared of failing, of not being able to do my essays well... Help ;___;

Posting from the vietnamese classroom! Cool... *lol*
I just wanted to say that XD I didn't do my vietnamese homework lalala I am stupid lalala I won't understand anything today lalala!!! XD

If you're asking yourself why I am still awake, well... I got back from Harry Potter at 12.30 and watched A beautiful mind on dvd after that! *lol* I am crazy.
Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets: reaaaaaally good. As I thought not as good as the book but good. Moaning Myrtle (is that her name???) and professor... What's his name??? Gilderoy something (I really can't remember, I am too tired XD) Anyway the new defense against the dark arts professor are THE BEST. And is so sad the guy that played Dumbledore is dead - he was so good... Just perfect. But I started to dislike Harry himself - I mean, the actor. He doesn't have a lot of facial expressions. Maybe two? :/
A beautiful mind was pretty good too... Russell Crowe is a great actor... I just can't believe it's a true story though.
Ok going to bed - I have to finish my vietnamese homework tomorrow morning before going to the lecture :/ AAAAAAAAAAH :/

YAYYYYYYYYYYYY I am going to see Harry Potter in 2 hours! I am so excited I can't wait *^^*
(even though someone told me the movie is waaaaaaaaay inferior to the book - already the first one was nice, but not as nice as the book!!!)
Lu-chan don't worry, I love comments *^^* The more comments I get the happier I am... *lol* I am such a diva! I require people to love me in order to be happy XD (Misa I am happy I am not the only one loving comments, or else I would feel a bit TOO much like a diva... *lol*)
No time to read blogs today - I went to the library and took 9 books out (essays due on friday the 29th! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ;___;), then went to sleep a bit more as I was terribly tired, than had a tutorial and finally I studied for the last 2 hours... Now I am ready to start the comparative economic growth essay!
And tomorrow Jana is coming! YAYYYYYYYYYY XD
Beside, Misa dicevo che devo rileggere Jack Frusciante perche' anche io parlo piu' di ricordi che di altro :)

You you and you thank you for the comments!!! I know I am getting over-excited about nothing, but... Wow. I feel cool having people commenting my posts *^^*
Mmh... Now I am really tired - those two nights just killed me! Completely!!! But I might watch Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone with James... I don't know... Naw, I think I'll go to bed... I am just gonna pass out in a bit!!! *lol*
I'm so excited... On tuesday or wednesday I'm going to see the new Harry Potter! I can't wait! And then Jana is coming on tuesday... And on friday I am going back to Paris - I'm so happy, I'm missing Paris... And I'll probably meet my best friend Alli on sunday!!! What a cool week (but I have to finish one of my essays too :/)...

Rientri decisamente nella mia categoria Asa - ho trovato qualcun'altro che la pensa come me che bello XD
I was thinking... If someone comments on one of my posts with haloscan should I reply with a comment or within a new post??? I can't decide... *lol* Those are my problems! I am stupid XD
Satine, sei piu' veloce di Flash! XD Grazie per il link. ^^
Going for a shisha in an hour or so... YAY! ^^

Ok... Un po' di polemica!
Allora... Se notate, ogni volta che uno trova il profilo di un ragazzo/a italiano/a sotto i diciamo 22-23 anni, il libro preferito e' regolarmente "Jack Frusciante e' uscito dal gruppo". Adesso, io dico... Ma solo l'unica a notare quanto quel libro sia banale, stupido e scritto male?
E' una brutta imitazione delle letteratura "alterna" inglese, tipo Irvine Welsh, ma il problema e' che non ci arriva neanche vicino...
I personaggi sono completamente poco interessanti e caratterizzati da schifo... La storia e' assolutamente banale, e potrebbe anche passare in fondo, ma se fosse scritta bene!!!
Mi chiedo, sono veramente la sola a pensarlo???
Altra polemica dello stesso genere: "L'ultimo bacio". Comincio col dire che io ADORO Stefano Accorsi. Ma questo film...
Anche qui, la storia e' completamente senza interesse... I maschi sono inevitabilmente tutti dei deficienti (che, scusate se lo dico, ma si fanno guidare dal pisello *lol*) e le donne sono pure peggio... Quel film da' un'immagine di donne che vogliono stare a casa a stirare, fare la calza e cucinare!!! Tipo quella che incinta di 2 mesi compra la carrozzina???? Ma siamo scemi???? E poi si stupisce che le cose vanno male con il tipo... Brava scema!
E poi prima di girarlo sto film avrebbero almeno dovuto far seguire un po' di lezioni di dizione ad un paio di attori... Tipo quell'odiosa ragazzetta... *brrrr* Oddio quanto non la reggo con quell'accento (e non sto dicendo che non mi piacciono gli accenti, ma cavolo, si deve almeno capire quello che sta dicendo!!!)...
Bah... Certe volte mi dico che penso sempre il contrario del resto della gente della mia eta' - chissa' perche', saro' anormale???? ^^

Ti ricordi i giorni chiari dell'estate, quando parlavamo fra le passeggiate...
Beh... Grazie Lu-chan ^^ /me emozionata di ricevere complimenti!
I woke up at 13.17... And I am still SO tired =_= The first thing my japanese flatmate told me as I entered the kitched (moaning and whining because I felt bad) was "You look tired!" ;___;
Tonight I am going to sleep at 9 I SWEAR! (ok, another soon-to-be-broken promise... *lol*)
This afternoon I have planned shisha (I don't have the slightest idea on how the word is spelled) with Ambar and I don't know who else... Yay! I love shisha. ^^
Yesterday I was laughing with Sophie about friday night - while we were in the queue for Fabric we met the worst FREAKS in London. She was talking with a really weird black guy and I was talking with an even more weird american bloke and they both asked us "Where are you sleeping tonight?". LIKE IT'S GONNA WORK!!! XD XD XD And apparently Rav (Sophie's flatmate) and his friend Mandeep (they came to Fabric with us) where shocked (in a positive way) because when we were in the club and I met them on the dancefloor I hugged them... *lol* I swear it wasn't in any way anything sexual!!! I was only really happy and nice and loving the world ^^
I can't believe I've got only 1 month left until the end of the term... I DON'T WANT TO GO AWAY! >_<

Just got back - and tonight was supposed to be a quiet night! I got drunk. Ah ah. AGAIN! XD
Anyway. It's so nice to have people commenting - thank you Panuru and Rika! ^^ Oh, and I hope you two are ok now??? :)
As for the kiss... Yeah, it was definitely the right person, Tanith (isn't that the weirdest name ever??? XD) is such a cute girl. She's so nice... I've seen her again tonight - she cracks me up!!! She's so funny, and being with her and Sophie is just crazy. XD
But it definitely (I'm loving this word tonight) was a pucci kiss - nothing serious. ^^ Important for me and I'm going to remember it, but not serious, I mean... Without consenquences (is that spelled right?? o_O;;)
Rika, I know I am doing things that are not exactly good for me on the long run, but I really don't want to do them my whole life!!! Right now I am just 18 and I think I have to experience things... But it's gonna stop as soon as I get out of uni (euh... Not for the drinking but for drugs hell yeah!)... I'm not stupid, or at least not THAT stupid. ^^
And I haven't been thinking about guys for a couple of days now - I'm getting better XD

Misa intendi com'era baciare una ragazza? *^^* Se chiedevi quello beh... Molto sweet e pucci ^^ E Tanith e' veramente una ragazza tanto bellina... Viene voglia di abbracciarla tutto il tempo *^^* Lovely!
Cmq non era un bacio per cosi' dire... "serio", solo un bacio pucci, anzi dei baci pucci-pucciosi ^^
*lol* che strano parlare di queste cose XD Cmq era davvero una bella serata - e' bello sentirsi cosi' vicini a delle persone ^^ Soprattutto riuscire a sentirsi vicini a delle persone che praticamente non conosci... Riuscire a trovare un legame immediato... Era la prima volta che mi succedeva. Sono davvero contenta ^^ Mi ha messo un sacco di buonumore. ^___^
I'm happy... So happy of being here with these people. So happy...
(and I'm tired too - I got back at 6 and slept only until 12... *lol* I'm having such a crazy life, I love it)

I just had an amazing night (yeah I got back NOW!!!) - I think the best of my life!!!
We went to Fabric, really cool place, HUGEEEEE club, with drum & bass... really really good.
It was only me, Sophie, Tanith, Tim and Isaac (Sophie's friends)... We had to queue for like 2 hours but IT WAS WORTH IT. Best night.
And... I was so happy and nice. And I kissed and hugged everyone. AND I HAD MY FIRST KISS WITH A GIRL! Not a "serious" kiss but... It's a beginning! ^^ I kissed on the lips Tanith, Sophie and Tim (really really cute guy, really sweet, he and Tanith are almost together).
It took me hours to write that. Right now I am tired - I am gonna pass out in a bit actually. I am REALLY tired and my teeth hurt (too much chewing gum) and my feet hurt. BUT I LOVED IT!!!! We are gonna do it again. Definitely. *^^*

Andate a vedere il sito su Hanakimi di Ruby-sama! SUBITO! XD
(e ammirate la pucciosa papera that goes to heaven! Pucci puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu *^^*)

I did my presentation... It was ok I guess...
Now I am really really really tired and a bit depressed... I think I'll go to bed and sleep a bit before going out tonight...
I want to be loved.

Thank you - thank you for having accepted me so easily... Thank you because you are so nice to me. Even too nice!
And you know I already consider most of you like my friends - maybe the very first friends I've ever had...
And it's so strange to be here - and feel at home. I feel more home here than back at my parents. Life is the people that surround you. I always believed it and never had the proof of it - and now I know it's true...
Thank you for being who you are. Thank you James, Freddie, Kirsty, Sophie, Ambar, Dean, Dave, s.a. Tom, Tom, the other Dave, Dominic and all the other people I met since I've got here. Thank you because you're making me happy.

Tonight I:
- got really drunk with reef, smirnoff ice and purple cocktails
- smoked my first cigar (too strong for me)
- saw Dave for a bit and realised once again that I like him and he is so cute
- started to realised I miss talking to Tom - actually I miss HIM - but he hasn't replied to my texts
- had a really nice conversation with Kirsty on important things i.e. death
- had my second gnome stolen by s.a. Tom and another Dave (nevermind it's a long story)
- got really stoned with Freddie - Kirsty - Sophie
- laughed a hell of a lot
- had a bloody nice night with my friends (bloody is just the best word)
And I've done all my reading for tomorrow presentation and I am really well prepared on one of the articles...

I handed in my essay - let's just hope it was good.
Because of the strike (uni people strike) one of my lectures was cancelled today - yay! ^^
I hate the damn tagboard - it's down again!!! GAAAAAAAH!!! >_<
Apart from that... I am studying for my presentation tomorrow. Boooooring stuff about the export stimulus and economy in the 19th century... Actually it's interesting but too long... *lol* I am such a lazy ass. XD

Can you imagine growing up without Beverly Hills 90210???? I can't... XD
(random 1-in-the morning-I-don't-want-to-sleep thought)

My essay is ready to be printed. My dad liked it. /me happy *^^*
If you want to read my essays here is the first one (What do you understand by the concepts of the ‘Third World’ and ‘development’?) and here is the second one (Human rights groups have made statements opposing foreign investment, aid and tourism in Burma. What are the arguments for and against this advice?)... I don't think anyone will read them but oh well I'm trying XD
I have to study vietnamese but really don't feel like it. I think I'm gonna study later - maybe at 1 or 2...

Why did he hold my hand the other night if he doesn't like me? Maybe he's really a twat as everybody is saying... I really don't understand. And I don't want to think about him - or I'll start telling myself that maybe he does like me but doesn't want to hurt Tom. And now that i wrote it I will think about it. Fuck...
I don't know... This things it's making me more sad than it should... I should just think "Well there's plenty more fish in the sea" but I can't... I am so emotional I hate myself sometimes...
Now I also have a LJ. It's so cool.
I should be studying vietnamese. I really should. Apparently the South East Asian department is one of the few departments that won't participate to the strike... I am unlucky!!!! ;____;
This is such a depressing night. I want someone to hug. I want to talk to someone, in person. I don't know who though... I think I still have to meet a real friend.... Or better, the perfect friend for me. I don't even know if it exists...
And I am waiting for my dad to call me back and correct my essay. In the end I even did more than the 1200 minimum words - 1400 words. I feel good about it but then I have another 5000-5500 words to write (for another 2 essays) before the end of the month. Tomorrow I am going to start them. I have to. I'll get some books from the library... I have to go there anyway to print out my essay.
I am so tired... Mentally tired. I want... To stop thinking for a little bit...
[edit] Almost forgot: Aethel, what does "men are considered in a different way, even if it's not right" mean???? You think we should just accept and be good and nice to everyone and not act in a way that other people could see as bad, because we are girls and we'll get a "bad reputation"? It's just crap!!! I'll never accept something like that. And you know what? You're starting to annoy me - you're just another conventional, mediocre person in this world. I hate that. Why should I care about what other people think of me? If they think I am bad, they don't know me, and if they don't know me, they're not my friends, and if they're not my friends, I don't give a fuck. It's as easy as that. And tell me, didn't you ever made a mistake??? I am living in a free world Aethel, and I have the chance to live in Europe, to come from a average family that can afford to pay for my university and to get me to study and TO THINK. To integrate the society without being just another conventional middle-class girl without a mind of her own. I am more clever than you think - and I don't want to worry about such useless things. There are much more important things in life. [/edit]

...instead of making me better you keep making me ill...
Pink - Just like a pill
Dave doesn't like me. Ah ah... Freddie spoke to him and he doesn't like me...
You know what? I don't care. I'm gonna find someone else - who IS NOT from that group of friends. I'm still going to like him for a bit, but I'm gonna get over it.
Oh my god I love Vanilla Caramel Fudge ice cream from Ben & Jerry's. YUMMY XD~~~~
And I'm gonna get chinese with Sophie later... I love food too much!!! ^^
[edit] Dimenticavo! Oluha, non ti stai impicciando troppo XD Ho il passaporto tedesco perche' mio padre e' tedesco, e invece mia madre e' italiana - il problema e' che non ho mai vissuto in Germania e mio padre non mi ha mai parlato in tedesco, quindi non ho mai imparato il tedesco! Devo mettermici prima o poi >_< [/edit]

Jana, I actually think reputation is a myth. Apart from the fact it affects only girls as you said, it doesn't exist simply because it shouldn't mean anything; I don't give a fuck about people thinking I am a slut (apart from the fact no one thinks I am slut, it's just stupid), I am not, my friends know I am not, so what's the point of worrying about it?
And then... Tom might got hurt - I know and I regret that, hurting him (not what I did though - I wanted to kiss Dave so badly it would have been even worst not to do it). But he will be over it in no time, because... Well he surely didn't love. Yeah, he cared about me, but that's all of it. You don't suddendly love a girl because you've been with her 2 weeks. It takes much more than that...
And you know what Aethel? If I had to always follow my mind I would have a pretty boring life. I would have no friends for example. You can't follow your mind the whole time; or at least for me, it doesn't work. Because I feel even worse when I stop myself from doing things my istincts tell me to do - because I am lying to myself and I am not doing what I really want to do. And I accept every consequence of my acts - I am not denying that I was wrong cheating on Tom - but that thing, kissing Dave and being near him, well, it made me happy. And I know I deserve the consequences, as bad as they could be. But following my istincts made me happy, so I don't really care.
550 more words to go for the essay. Oh, and I stopped writing for like 1 hour, I am not THAT bad at writing essays, come on!
Sophie just told me that it looks like my favourite expressions are "come on", "guys", "what???" and "cool". I must sound soooooo stupid XD
(but she also told me last night that my accent is improving quickly - I can't really tell but I guess it's true! Yay for me *^^*)

Essay on Burma is BORING. I am at 380 words. 820 to go. Fuck.

If it makes you happy then it can't be that bad
Thank you Satine for the quote from Sheryl Crow!!! *^^*
Why are say things that are so true?

Ah ah I'm pissed again. I missed being drunk every night. Not that I was really used to it but well. It's taking me hours to write the damn thing (I'm too pissed).
Dave and Kirsty did nothing apparently. She asked me if something happened between us yesterday so I guess nothing happened between them. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY XD
And... Freddie has been locked into his room with his ex-girlfriend (I guess they're together now though) in complete silence for fucking 6 hours. I think they've been shagging the whole time. Ah ah.
Am I vulgar when I'm drunk??? I think so... Ah ah.
Going to sleep. YO!

Oh my god I love this song - and those girls are HOT (I want to kiss a girl!!!)
Anyway. What happened yesterday... I went to ULU, got to speak to Dave and apologised... Told him that I made a big big big mistake and I was sorry... And that I didn't tell Tom it was him because I didn't want to fuck their friendship up... In the end the tension was gone and we were friends again.
I smoked way too many cigarettes last night - I think around 20 and only 2 of them were from my pack (my last 2 ;__;). Also drank 3 Reef orange, 1 Reef lemon, 1 Smirnoff Ice and a bit of someone else's cocktail. Oh and a bit of Dave's beer.
After ULU we hit the Rocket... Stayed there a bit (me, Sophie, Kirsty, Freddie, Dave, south african Tom, Jessi and her friend Lucy), it was fun... Than we got back to halls... Actually at first it was only me, Dave, Kirsty and Jessi. Had a couple joints. I was SO stoned. Than I cooked pasta for Dave. We were alone in my kitchen. He held my hand -> I was hoping for something so badly! I tried to kiss him but he didn't want to. Because of Tom. FUCK! I guess he only needs a bit of time. I think he was going to kiss me too but he stopped himself because of Tom. I know it was too early... But I was so stoned and drunk I just wanted to try and go for it... I am not talking about sex. I am talking about... Relationship. I know I won't fuck it up if it happens - the whole thing with Tom got me to understand a couple things. I am ok now. It's like... I am clear with everybody now. I sorted everything out and... Well I sorted my mind out too.
Ah ah the soap opera is back XD
Anyway. Vietnamese and Development: conditions and experience this morning. It was cool. I really like vietnamese. I need to study a bit more seriously though. Well I'm gonna do it this week!!! ^^
This afternoon Freddie is going to talk with Dave. I am scared of hoping something but... I do hope he likes me. Really.

I've got a chance with him - I just have to use it well. I have to be careful - I was already stupid once tonight and I won't do it again.
Besides, I finally got both drunk AND stoned. YAY for me! ^^

I decided I'm doing a bit too much drama about all this stuff - everyone is going to feel better in a week, so why do I have to stress myself vso much?
The only thing I care about is to be able to speak to both Tom and Dave by the end of week: I'm going to apologise to Tom and explain a couple things to Dave, because he has no right to be pissed off at me.
And now I'll stop - fuck it! I want to be happy and ok. And I'm going to UCLU tonight - 99p NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to get SO drunk! And maybe stoned... Ah ah ah. XD
And tomorrow I'll write the damn essay on Burma - it's only 1200 words and I don't even have to express my opinion, so it shouldn't take too long.

If you look up for "I dreamt Britney Spears was my girlfriend, go out, had sex, make out, kiss, legs, breasts, rub, love, sexual" on Google my blog comes out as the 7th site. WTF????????

Aethel... How can you pretend that you understand what I feel? Why I act like this? I don't even know it myself...
That's the problem - right now I don't trust myself in the first place. I want to be loved. I want someone to care about me. I want... I want to be happy. But I can't decide what to do and end up doing stupid things.
And all this has nothing to do with the kiss theory... That was just a stupid thing.
I know "it's not only my fault" is not enough. You don't know how much I've cried. You don't know how stupid I feel. Because I was wrong and I know it. But I want... I don't know... Fuck, it takes 2 people to kiss. And Dave has as much responsability as me in that thing. Why does he end up like the "good" one?
Actually I don't really care. I just feel like shit.

I just want to cry. And sleep. And do nothing else. And never wake up. Or wake up and find out it was only a bad dream...
Why do I end up hurting people everytime? Why am I so stupid?
I want to talk to someone but I don't want to disturb anyone. Because I have no right to be sad or depressed - I deserve what happened to me, I was wrong...
But still... Why nobody understands me? Better, why can't I understand myself... Everything is so complicated.

Dave told Tom about it.
Tom dumped me and he's angry at me (and I deserve it, I know, I did something really wrong, I'm just feeling so guilty because I know he got hurt, and I didn't want that to happen).
Dave is pissed off at me - and I don't know why because he's his fucking fault too. He's saying around that he didn't know me and Tom were together but that's a lie. Kirsty told me and he saw us. And he's also saying that I was the one to hit on him - and it's not true, we were both doing it.
Kirsty still likes Dave and she has an awful lot of problems apart from that.
In the end I may be the one who's doing better, but I feel like shit. I think that I have fucked up every chance I could have with Tom, and I probably fucked up every chance I could have with Dave.
And I like Dave. And I was almost going to be really hysterical and cry in front of him - but I didn't. Maybe it would have been better. I don't think he knows how bad I feel.
And then him and Tom are cool - because HE told Tom. I didn't tell Tom it was Dave because I didn't want to fuck up their friendship. And I end up being the bad one. I know I made such a big mistake - but it's not only my fault. It's not.
But I feel not so bad because the other guys were so nice to me, trying to convince me that it won't be that bad, that everything will be ok. Nothing will be ok until I sort my fucking mind out.

my blogger code:
B1 d t k s++ u-- f++ i++ o++ x e+ l+ c+
If you want to decode it go to this page.
Cool. XD

They're together. My ex-boyfriend got with the girl. Why does it make me cry??? Why? Why am I crying like that?
Maybe because I feel so fucked up. So confused. Because I don't know what to do. Because I am fucking up everything so badly - Tom. I'm acting like a bitch to him. And I don't know why. And Dave... And Kirsty. Sophie told me she's mad at me. That she's pissed off about the whole situation and she's trying to put all the blame on me.
Cazzo... Che cosa sto facendo? Perche' tutto questo sta succedendo?
La mia mente e' solo confusione - non so cosa fare, non so cosa voglio, CHI voglio... Non so perche' sapere che lui si e' messo con lei (e che stanno iniziando qualcosa di dannatamente serio) mi fa stare male. Non so se e' perche' ancora rifletto su come per 3 anni ho pensato di essere la persona perfetta per lui, o perche' io non riesco a cavare un ragno dal buco e lui si e' gia' trovato qualcosa di... Bello. Una vera relazione.
E io invece sono qua che piu' incasinata non si puo' - sento che sto prendendo in giro Tom perche' in una settimana la mia mente non tornera' ad uno stato normale, saro' sempre altrettanto confusa... Ma non me la sono sentita di lasciarlo ieri sera. Perche' cazzo gli voglio cmq bene... Perche' lui sarebbe perfetto se non fosse che... Non posso innamorarmi ma non posso neanche rimanere in una situazione cosi', perche' so che alla prima occasione che mi capita mandero' tutto per aria e andro' con un altro. Lo so. Non mi fido di me stessa.
I can't trust myself anymore. I just can't.

Sooooo... Last night I went out with Kirsty... She's the girl who really likes Dave. Told her that I kissed him - and that I think I quite like him myself. It was a weird conversation - talking with a friend who likes the same guy you like. I found out he's only 18 - like me! We are the youngest people in every group of people we go out with. Weird ah??? BUT, he's really childish. Really nice but really childish. Since he pulled Kirsty he's ignoring her. Doesn't answer the phone nor reply to texts. And it's not like she's telling him she wants to marry him... Reaaaaally weird. Than we had a couple drinks with some friends of her... It was ok.
Then I met up with Tom... He was at some friend's houseparty - everybody was COMPLETELY drunk. I had like 2 guys trying to get naked in front of me - and I was asked 3 times if I wanted to do a threesome. Why are guys so stupid???????????
Anyway. I spoke with Tom... I told him that I am so fucked up by the breaking up with my ex-boyfriend, that I am really confused... And that I know I could do something really stupid like cheat on him. I also told him that I already did something stupid as I kissed a guy (didn't tell him who though). He told me he expected it - he also told me that he cares about me "so much"... And I was feeling so bad. In the I decided I'm gonna try it... Because he's worth it. If by the same time next week I am not happy or still confused or anything we're gonna end it. He made the suggestion and I agreed... I only hope not to meet Dave this week.
Telling the truth, I don't think I'm gonna be able to sort anything out this week. I don't think it's gonna work. But I'm gonna try - Kirsty told me to give it a week and she's right...
The problem is... DAVE!!! After talking about him with Kirsty I am starting to think I really like him... And that's stupid. I am stupid. I am a stupid teenagerish drooling girl!!! Bwaaaaaaaaaah ;___; I was trying to call him yesterday, then in the end I did it and... Sounded like a complete idiot. Oh well. It happens. ;___;
Then... Ah si, Oluha, studio vietnamita - e mi sta piacendo un sacco! Non e' per niente complicato, non hanno ideogrammi ne' niente, e la grammatica e' super semplice... Mi sa che tra un po' (magari il prossimo anno) mi metto a fare pure jappo pero'. Si si si. E devo anche imparare il tedesco (cavolo, ho il passaporto tedesco e non lo parlo ;___;) e lo spagnolo. Asssolutamente *^^* Ora come ora, con 3 lingue, sono la scema della famiglia! Mia madre parla 5 lingue, mio padre anche e mio fratello 4 e mezzo. Siamo proprio una famiglia poliglotta e multiculturale XD
Sailoreagle, grazie per il complimento *^^* Sono troppo contenta che il mio blog sia interessante da leggere - sono troppo contenta che la gente lo apprezzi *^^* Mi fa molto strano... A me non sembra di scrivere nulla di eccitante, anche perche' scrivo praticamente solo di ragazzi ^^;;; Per questo mi fa piacere quando vengo linkata... Soprattutto da qualcuno di cui leggo il blog da secoli!!!! ^^
Aethel, that time when James kissed me - well that was the ONLY time I saw him acting like that. He's very faithful to his girlfriend - and he would have 1000 occasions to cheat on her - and that's what makes me think... How come it happened only with me? I don't know. But I think he really loves his girlfriend so... Don't judge him. You don't know him.

Sailoreagle is linking me too. /me happy ;___;
THANK YOU *^^*

Makes me wanna dance XD
I had to wake up at 9 and woke up at 11.30 instead =_=
But I am good - I cleaned my room and finished my vietnamese homework! Also added several words to my lists of words to learn. I'm really liking vietnamese - and I'm quite impressed on how quickly we're learning it! It's crazy. After 1 month we can easily make a basic conversation, and write it... Cool ^^ I remember that when I was doing a japanese course 3 years ago it took me 2 months to learn the most basic stuff... Ok then I also had to learn hiragana and katakana, but well... I know a few people who are doing japanese at SOAS and in 2 weeks or something like that they had already learnt ALL the katakana and hiragana. Crazy stuff... ^^
Anyway. Now I have to read 1 article for Development: conditions and experience and 2 others for Comparative economic growth... But I have to take notes for the last 2 as I have to make a presentation on them... I HATE ECONOMICS >_<
But now I am less stressed about the essay for Development: conditions and experience. Yesterday I met Dean (he's doing Development studies and South East Asian studies like me, but he's doing indonesian) and found out he's doing the same essay I'm doing, "Does 'over-population' cause poverty?", and he told me he'll give me the books he's using to do it and that they are VERY good. I think that's the easiest essay in the list XD Cool. ^^
Now I'll stop talking about school! >_<
It's so good, I'm starting to talk again to people I haven't spoken to in ages. First of all a ex-boyfriend of mine (I hadn't spoke to him for like 4 years); then I am having nice texts-conversations with Jana who is coming in 3 weeks - and she's gonna stay at my place and we're gonna dress up as Mikako! YAY!
And I'm emailing really nice people... Like Ylenia, a couple of classmates from last year, Stella cadente, another Vanina (!!!)...
It's so nice to be able to do it again - last year I was way too depressed and had a way too crappy life to correspond with anyone. Now I feel good, I have lots of time to write emails, work on my sites, skin nice Yazawa's pictures... It's so cool.
I can't believe my life is so nice now... It's just... Crazy. ^^

I WANT TO BE IN FLORENCE PROTESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<

Aethel, if you are talking about James... Well, I was quite drunk when I kissed him and I really really really really liked him. So I didn't care. I know it was bad - but I didn't really know how it was going with his girlfriend - how could I know anything about it? I am not saying that it was the right thing to do, not at all. But I did it. And you know what? I stopped James before... Well he started trying to do more than kissing, and I refused to do it. And I feel a bit bad now that I met James girlfriend. But I think that it was James fault if it happened. HE started it. And I couldn't resist, he's so cute XD
I feel way more bad for Tom - because I cheated on him when I kissed Dave. That's why I am splitting up with him - I don't want to be like that, playing around guys. I admit it wasn't right - I loved it but it wasn't right. That's why I am gonna be sincere with Tom. That's why I decided I'm going to be single - I don't want to make anyone suffer.

Someone just left a message in the tagboard saying "it's not serious to kiss so many people in a few days, what about girl's reputation?"...
You know, I'm 18 and I've been way too serious until now. I was in a long term relationship for 3+ years. Isn't that serious? Well, it was too much for me. I am a teenager. I need a certain amount of freedom.
And about my reputation... Do you know any english girl??? Well if you do then you know that here you don't get a bad reputation for only kissing guys - they don't even get a bad reputation when they sleep with 5 different guys in one month. And apart from english customs, I only care about what my friends think - and they surely don't think I am bad because I kiss guys I like. Because they know me.
And when I do something like kissing a guy, I do it because I feel it - I feel it's the right thing to do, because I feel close to that person, because I like that person and finally because... It's good. It feels so good. Dear Aethel, you should kiss more (and at least leave an email address XP). I can tell you, you'll understand me if you do it.

Freddie is in Canterbury. James is with his girlfriend. Kirsty is in Scotland. Sophie has gone back for reading week. Tom is not going out (oh and I couldn't meet him to tell him... That I want to split up... /me feels bad). WTF GUYS IS FRIDAY!
Only possibility I could have: text Dave. Bad idea/good idea? Someone tell me please ;__;
And what should I text him anyway? Baaaaaaah... And I still want to kiss him - so it could be a good opportunity... But I still haven't split up with Tom. What do I have to doooooooooooooooo?
BUT! Rie is cooking some sort of japanese gratin. Yummy! :D~~~~~ And I'm invited. Supa dupa yummy! :D~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...AM I SQUEEZING YOU TO TIGHT?...
Avril Lavigne - Things I'll never say
That's the best line of the entire song... Don't you think?
(yeah I am starting to obsessing about the damn song... *lol*)
Just slept 2 hours = bad idea, I feel like shit =_=

Ok... About kisses...
Since I'm here I found out that I really like to kiss. Not in general it's just... When you first kiss someone. Like the whole preparation of it... When you know you're attracted by someone and he knows too but you just wait... Until it happens because you can't wait anymore. And those first kisses - wow! They are the best ones.
Since I got here I kissed 4 guys (that's more than 50% of the guys I've kissed in my entire life - before coming here I only kissed 3!!! ^^;;) - and 3 of them were... Wow. So good (but it gets boring after a bit - like with Tom - it's not that I don't like to kiss him, but after the first night it just loses something... It's not THAT good anymore)...
And I want to kiss Dave again because... It was good and we didn't kind of... Finished it. Because we stopped when he found out about Tom but I still felt like kissing him so bad... Oh my god ;__;
AND... I really want to kiss a girl. I've never kissed a girl. Must be really nice. *^^* I always told myself that I must be bi... But I'm not sure about it. I have to try and kiss a girl to know it *^^*
You make make me wanna fly above the city lights, If only I could make sweet love to you, there's nothing else I'd rather do...

Wow I am so cool - posting from the computer room in the library XD I finally printed out the essay (for various problems I had to go back and forth from my halls to the library a couple times = me stupid =_=) and now I am handing out... It feels so good to do what you're supposed to do *^^* (yeah I can be a bad student - but I always have good grades! Yay! ^^)
Anyway. I have to see Tom today - and I want to see Dave Ah ah. I had a long chat with Alli on the phone last night and it was so good - made me realise a couple things.
Anyway. Going to the faculty office now!

I luv' her! And Michelle Branch! And Avril Lavigne! XD
I feel... Weird. I wanted to text Freddie to ask him if he was doing something but I didn't because 1. I don't know if he's gone somewhere "special" - in the sense that since he split up with Liz maybe he's with his friends, at home or something like that 2. I CAN'T go out! I spent all the money I had for this week. I can't go out, I really can't 3. I know I only want to go out because I'm hoping Dave is there - I am always thinking I have to kiss him again. I have to. I need to (I don't know if he wants though).
See? Girls are stupid. With Tom it was exactly the same thing - I liked him a lot and everything and then... This happened. How could it be? Fuck not even a week ago I was missing him so much! I feel so bad...
And there is all that stuff going on between me and my ex-boyfriend and his almost girlfriend... And well I am not gonna write about that - they told me they weren't reading this blog anymore (that they even put firewalls on it on both their computers) but... I don't trust them!
That's why I didn't want anyone from "real life" apart from Alli to know about that - I want to write everything in here, fuck! (yeah I really feel like saying fuck tonight)
I'm so impressed - I've been here for some 6 weeks and I'm already saying lots of bad words - Luv' it! XD
Should I text Dave and tell him I want another joint by the river? I can't stop thinking about that... We weren't alone but it was so nice all the same... And then we were walking and eating following Freddie and Lizzie and being stupid and I started tickling him... And when we were in the shop buying sandwiches and he started to get way too near to me and pushing me near the wall and I felt so... I don't know, happy. It's that feeling... When you know it's going to happen but you try not to let it happen... *lol* and then he kissed me just when the girl at the counter was giving him his change...
And I found out something about me: when I start to, well, want to get with a guy I start tickling him. Inevitably. It happened with Tom and with Dave. And I was always tickling my ex-boyfriend. And I tickled James too.
Because it means I can get my hands on the hips, which are soooooo sexy... And it involves the guy trying to stop me and taking my hands. It's such a good move to get with a guy you know??? It works pretty well XD
And it also involves the guy tickling you back and well... Get to touch you. And accidents happen XD
I'm such a *ehm* "bad girl" o_O
It weird because last night, when I was talking to Alli, I found out she has the opposite behaviour since she broke up with her boyfriend... I only want boys and she's disgusted by them. Mmh... Makes me think!!! ^^;;;

I'm blogging too much. I should stop. Duh.

Now I feel good I did lot of stuff I really needed to do *^^* Actually the essay should be handed out tomorrow, but I think that in reality they extended the deadline until monday (not that it's really important - it's unassessed). Tomorrow I'll go to uni pretty early (10.00) so I can print it, hand it out at the faculty office and go to the library and get the books for Cultural foundations of SEA and Comparative economic growth. Tomorrow I'll try to read as much stuff as I can for Development: conditions and experience too. I want to be finished with the reading before saturday night, so that on sunday I can write the second damn essay. Than I'll have to start thinking about the Comparative economic growth essay. ;__;
I can't believe I have all this stuff to do - actually it's not much but I'm really not used to it XD I'm such a procrastinator.
Apparently my flatmate Freddie split up with his girlfriend. Weird, really weird. Everybody is splitting up. WTF????????

I am not writing until I've done at least 4 or 5 things in the list.
1. Read material for Development: conditions and experience essay - DONE!
2. Write essay - update at 15.54 - almost done, another 100 words!!! - update at 16.49 - DONE!!!!!!!!!!
3. Copy notes for Cultural foundations on SEA - DONE!
4. Write lists of vietnamese words to learn - DONE!
5. Do vietnamese exercises (and find a copy of the exercise I didn't get because I left earlier)
6. Go to Sainsbury's and buy food (with the little bit of money I have left for this week) - update at 15.54 - DONE!
7. Drop at the reception the registration form for the doctor (but before that I have to ask about NHS number) - update at 15.54 - DONE!
8. Read material for monday's tutorial (Development: conditions and experience)
9. Go to the library and get the material for the Cultural foundations of SEA essay - on Vietnam? (I'll do that on friday when I have to drop my first essay at the Faculty Office)
10. Write the Cultural foundations of SEA essay
11. Start reading material for friday's presentation - Comparative economic growth.

I don't know what to do - I don't feel like sleeping, I don't feel like studying, I don't feel like working on the skin...
I might look obsessed but... I want to. kiss. someone. Actually, Dave. I have to pull him again. I have to.
Why am I delirious at this time at night?????????

One of the most beautiful things in life:
watching the smoke of a cigarette coming out of your mouth...
I am still awake - I studied a bit of vietnamese (and wrote lists of verbs and adjectives to learn), finished copying some notes for Cultural foundations of SEA and spoke on the phone to Alli... God I miss her! It was so nice to be able to finally talk to someone about EVERYTHING. I can tell her everything - I miss it.
I might work on my Nana skin now... I don't know. Or make another list of vietnamese words to learn. Or start my essay. I only know that I won't be able to sleep. I'm becoming a night lover. It's so nice to be awake in the middle of the night... Love it.
Hearing the silence outside...
I wanna go back to last night, when we were looking at the river and saying how beautiful London is smoking together... I loved that moment. It was the best. And I'm still thinking about Dave - why on Earth are girls so stupid? I just kissed him, he doesn't care about me. And I don't really want to be with him or anything - I just want to kiss him again. Because it was good. And talk to him because we can have beautiful conversations, even about the more stupid stuff...
Ok my list of things to do:
1. Read material for Development: conditions and experience essay
2. Write essay
3. Copy notes for Cultural foundations on SEA - DONE!
4. Write lists of vietnamese words to learn - ALMOST DONE! - update at 2.30 - DONE!
5. Do vietnamese exercises (and find a copy of the exercise I didn't get because I left earlier)
6. Go to Sainsbury's and buy food (with the little bit of money I have left for this week)
7. Drop at the reception the registration form for the doctor (but before that I have to ask about NHS number)
8. Read material for monday's tutorial (Development: conditions and experience)
9. Go to the library and get the material for the Cultural foundations of SEA essay - on Vietnam? (I'll do that on friday when I have to drop my first essay at the Faculty Office)
10. Write the Cultural foundations of SEA essay
11. Start reading material for friday's presentation - Comparative economic growth

That was the saddest and weirdest thing I ever did.
I just convinced my ex-boyfriend to go to his almost-girlfriend house and well... Get with her.
I didn't think I would suffer so much. I didn't think it would make me cry. To realize she is the perfect girl for him. She is. And I wasn't... I wasn't.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK Tom has to work tomorrow all day - we can't meet before friday... What should I do??? He called me and asked me like "What's up???" and I was a bit embarassed... Just told him I had to talk to him about complicated stuff...
Oh my god. I feel like texting Dave. Vanina please don't do that - he won't text back anyway.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to kiss someone. Dave.

Stolen from someone's livejournal...
Current Clothes: my fav miss sixty jeans (ooooold ones) + really big white cachemire jumper + red flip-flops
Current Mood: BORED!!!!!
Current Music: My winamp playlist (500+ songs)
Current Taste: Cigarette
Current Hair: Blonde, with darker roots, shoulder lenght
Current Annoyance: I am stupid
Current Smell: Random incense
Current thing I ought to be doing: Reading stuff for my essay
Current Desktop Picture: Peach Girl
Current Favorite Group: It's not a group but oh well - Avril Lavigne
Current Book you're reading: Fay
Current CD in CD Player: Canteen
Current DVD in player: Last one was Legally Blonde
Current Color Of Toenails: natural :)
Current Refreshment: milk
Current Worry: I have to break up with Tom
LAST PERSON...
You Touched: James (this morning)
You Talked to: in person? James (on the phone 5 minutes ago)
You Hugged: Dave (last night)
You Instant messaged: Cat on icq (last night)
You Yelled At: Probably my ex-boyfriend
You Kissed: Dave (last night, and I want it again!!!)
FAVORITE...
[ Food ] chinese pineapple or lemon chicken
[ Color ] Blue
[ Album ] Avril Lavigne - Let go
[ Shoes ] My black pumas
[ Candy ] I like all kind of candies!!!
[ Animal ] Cat
[ TV Show ] ER
[ Movie ] Donnie Darko
[ Dance ] to Addictive by Truth Hurts!!! Yayyyyyy
[ Song ] Avril Lavigne - Things I'll never say
[ Vegetable ] Carrot
[ Fruit ] Peach
[ Cartoon ] Fruits Basket
ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] Not really... Actually, yes, with my friends. Not with boyfriends!!!
[ Open-minded ] Yes
[ Arrogant ] Not at all
[ Insecure ] So much...
[ Interesting ] I don't know - one of my fears is to be uninteresting :/
[ Random ] Absolutely
[ Hungry ] Hell yeah - the last thing I ate were cereals at 12!!!
[ Friendly ] Yes, but I'm shy!!!
[ Smart ] Yes
[ Moody ] I can be - when my period is coming! Baaaah
[ Childish ] Oh yeah!
[ Independent ] I try to be but I'm always depending on other people for something...
[ Hard working ] No ^^;;;
[ Organized ] Pretty mucg, yes
[ Healthy ] Yes think so
[ Emotionally Stable ] Nope ;_;
[ Shy ] Yes!!!
[ Difficult ] Yes
[ Attractive ] I'm starting to think I am = too many boys around me lately!!! *^^*
[ Bored Easily ] Very easily
[ Messy ] Just look at my room = the kingdom of messiness...
[ Thirsty ] Yep have to get more milk
[ Responsible ] Yes, but I can be very irresponsible too
[ Obsessed ] Yes. Lately about *ehm* kissing and stuff like that.
[ Angry ] No
[ Sad ] Really sad.
[ Happy ] In some way, yes, because I'm in this fantastic city
[ Hyper ] No
[ Trusting ] Not really
[ Legal ] Yep, I've been for more than 2 months now!!!!
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ] No one
[ Slap ] No one
[ Get Really Wasted With ] Dave
[ Get High With ] Freddie, Dave, James
[ Tickle ] Dave
[ Look Like ] Myself
[ Talk To Offline ] Don't know...
[ Talk To Online ] It's a secret... Eheheh ^^
That was a nice test. But I don't think someone will get so bored and read it. XD

I just found this little thingy I wrote this summer so... I am gonna post it! (sorry, italian only)
E' veramente come dicono... "Ghost world", un mondo fantasma, a meta' tra il nulla e il tutto. Non so se quello che sto passando ora e' l'unico momento della vita "cosi'" - lo scopriro', con il tempo. Fatto sta che e' strano. Un sogno o un incubo.
In ogni caso e' come essere sospesi, in attesa di qualcosa, che sembra a momenti vicino a momenti lontano.
Vorresti che il futuro si realizzasse immediatamente, eppure ne hai paura. Davanti a te milioni di possibilita', ma qual'e' quella giusta? E soprattutto, esistera' la scelta giusta...
Mi sono sentita dire che e' l'unico periodo della vita in cui si e' veramente liberi. Non riesco a capire se e' vero o no. In un certo senso, almeno per me, e' bello questo senso di incertezza. Il sapere che in questo preciso istante non hai nessun legame, nessun dovere, quasi sapere che l'avvenire potrebbe cambiare ad ogni momento, e non a causa di elementi esterni, ma perche' TU lo vuoi.
Sono triste e felice. Perche'? Beh, e' pur sempre la fine di qualcosa. Nulla di perfetto o felice, ma pur sempre qualcosa. Ma e' l'inizio, anche. L'inizio di tutto. E dire che succede una volta sola...
L'estate tra l'adolescenza e l'eta' adulta... Tra la sicurezza di una vita vecchia e l'avventura di una vita nuova.
Quest'estate, tra la fine del liceo e l'inizio della vita. Quasi non mi sembra vero che stia gia' passando.
E alla fine il sentimento che prevale e' questo... Una voglia incredibile di averti qui, futuro!
It's so sad to read it again... Both because I won't have another summer like the last one, it was just special, and then because that future I was waiting so much for has come and it's beautiful... But it changed so many things in my life...
That wasn't a good idea - depressing stuff! Duh.

This is so stupid - I'm just spending the afternoon doing nothing... Because I am worried of what I have to say to Tom, because I am angry with myself... See I am so complicated... I can't even understand myself... I just can't.
You know that feeling... Feeling that you can't explain what happens in your head, you can't explain why you are sad, or mad, or happy, you can't - it's in your head but you can't express it, there is no way you're gonna be able to do it. That's why I am worried about talking to Tom - I hope I'll be able to explain everything well... I don't know. I am so confused...
And I'd like to kiss Dave again, or at least talk to him... Because it was so nice to talk to him... And we smoked a splif (is it spelled like that?) with our feet above the water from the Thames, looking at the river and at the city and feeling the breeze on our face... And it was so nice... It's that kind of thing that makes you understand how beautiful life is... I was there thinking "Wow... I am living in the city of my dreams, doing what I always dreamed to do... I am so lucky"... I want something like that to happen again... It was such a nice night, even though I had the worst headache...
I love kissing... I love that feeling - the first kiss with someone. That first bond that a first kiss creates... You feel so close to someone even if you don't really know him. And it makes me tremble a bit and I feel warm and thrilled... It's so nice.
And the thing I really want to try... Is finding that really sweet guy with whom you can spend a night just talking and kissing and holding hands and hugging...
Can you tell I am in a really thoughtful mood? :) I keep remember things about last night and about Tom and everything... And you know what (and this time is for real): I don't care about James anymore. Yeah, he's cute, but I don't want anything with him... All these problems originated at least one positive change!!! XD

Voglio spiegarmi adesso dammi solo un minuto per levarmi questo sapore amaro dal palato sapore di passato di un amore sciupato di qualche cosa di perfetto che poi è cambiato. Non so di chi dei due possa esser la colpa non m'importa adesso ascolta ciò che conta è non bagnare con le lacrime una fiamma morta che si è gia spenta potremo piangere domani senza che l'altro ci senta e attenta questo non vuol dire che sia solo tu a soffrire ma penso che star male adesso non possa servire per poterci riunire non è che voglia fuggire ma preferisco non mentire è tardi per capire perché ad un tratto è arrivato il maledetto freddo che col suo ghiaccio ha coperto ciò che abbiamo fatto e detto e nel suo viaggio si è portato il nostro caldo con te vivevo un sogno ma ora sono sveglio.
I just realised how right this song is - how much I feel it now, I exactly feel like it says... And it's really weird because I've liked this song for long and now... It's my song. It's just true...
It's raining outside and I feel sad but happy at the same time - and I should study but I can't. I'll start to read a couple books for my essay though.
I texted Tom and told him I need to talk to him. I am scared and sorry and afraid of what I have to do - but I have to. And I'm afraid of losing him forever and I really don't want to. I could lie to myself and to him and just stay with him, but it wouldn't be right for him but also for him.
I need to be free... I know I will make him suffer but I can't. I can't be with someone - I am too scared and confused...

Oh my god I feel so bad for Tom. Soooooo bad. Why did I have to do that?
And you know I started thinking about pulling Dave in the afternoon already. And I looked for it. I made myself look available to him. And I felt bad yes but it felt so good at the same time - and he was a damn good kisser. And he's so nice.
You know what? And know I'll really sound like a slut but I don't care. I'll split up with Tom and pull Dave again. "Seriously" this time.
But it will be so difficult to tell Tom... He's been so nice to me, always worried and stuff... How can I do something like this to him? But I know it would be so wrong to stay with and let something like that happen again. So wrong. He doesn't deserve to be treated that way. He really doesn't.

Oddio un po' in ritardo ma...
BUON COMPLEANNO HIKARU!!!!!!!

Fuck - I just did something really stupid. I pulled Dave. He's this really really really nice guy and well, I kinda like him - he's cute. I think I have to break up with Tom - it's just not right. Because I know I could do it again. I want to be free to do whatever I want to, at least now because... I don't know, I just want to have fun. I am feeling so bad for Tom but... I was thinking of pulling Dave the whole night (apart from the 5 minutes Tom was there) so it really wouldn't be right to stay with Tom.
I knew it was a bad idea getting with him... I just did it because, well, I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid of being alone.
You know, I'm not that kind of girl... Who just plays around guys alot... I don't want to be like that, it's just that I am really confused about everything... Fuck I just came out from a 3+ years long relationship and... I don't want something serious, not now, not immediatly.
And fuck I liked kissing Dave... Oh my god I liked it. He was a damn good kisser...
I AM SO BAD! I feel bad also because my friend Kirsty pulled Dave like 2 weeks ago and I think she really likes him... But he doesn't.
Why do I always fuck up everything?
Apart from that, I went to Freddie's brother's band gig... It was damn good. Hell yeah - I bought their cd too! Go see their site and if you live in London GO SEE THEM! They are fucking cool.
Going to bed now - preparing myself to talk to Tom tomorrow. Oh my god it will be so difficult - it's the first time I fuck things up like this.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Why does it makes you feel better to smoke weed with some friends when you're depressed? I don't know but now I am stoned.
I feel bad - I wrote awful stuff on my ex-boyfriend and his friend. I have to apologise for that (in fact I already did). I can turn in such a bitch when I am angry. :)
Going out tonight - I really shouldn't, I don't have much money, but well, fuck it I am depressed and need to have fun :)

I am feeling better now. It was just a shitty moment. When you get really really depressed for nothing, or almost.
I think it hit me only know, after one month... I lost him, for stupid stuff. I couldn't do anything differently in the end, but I lost something special... I don't regret what I did, but I feel sorry, for myself and for him... We were stupid.
I'll get better. I still feel sad, but I'll slowly get better.
As for now, I have a really bad headache, my back is hurting like hell and I have to get my laundry. AAAAAAAAAAAH ;__;

I never felt like this in my entire life.
How can someone make you feel like you're complete shit? Like you're not worth anything?
I want to die.

EVERYTHING IS SO BLURRY AND EVERYONE SO FAKE AND EVERYBODY IS EMPTY AND EVERYTHING IS SO MESSED UP...
I want to scream it to the world - why is the world so unfair? Why?
That quote is just so TRUE. So true...

Fuck - icq doesn't work really well behind a firewall >_<

If I could say what I want to say / I'd say I wanna blow you away / Be with you every night / Am I squeezing you too tight / If I could say what I want to see / I want to see you go down / On one knee / Marry me today / Yes, I’m wishing my life away / With these things I’ll never say
I love this song. I love it.

HE'S BACK HE'S BACK! I hope I'll see him tonight. After that big argument yesterday with my ex-boyfriend and his bitchy kind-of-girlfriend I really need some sweet lovin'.
And I need to talk to someone about it.
It's just... It makes me sick, the whole story. How he must have told her I am some kind of monster and I was the one to be wrong and he was the only one to suffer.
I can tell you, that's not it.
We were together for 3+ years. For 3+ years I had to endure endless arguments because he was jealous of EVERYTHING - for 3+ years I was with someone who had no faith in me whatsoever - someone who didn't understand me nor my dreams. And it was nice to hear that he wanted us to be together forever, but it was stressful too.
For 3+ years I had to endure the same arguments all over again, every week, every day.
I won't say more than that,