I’ve been here for less than 24 hours and already I would love to be able to leave. I don’t know what happened to the relationship with my parents in the past months, why last year it was ok and now it’s just not. Maybe it’s been this bad for a while and I hadn’t noticed, who knows. The point is, I am tired, so tired of hearing “I don’t like the way you speak to me” and “you should be grateful for what we do for you” (the reason for this one is fucking drying my clothes, thank you very much but I can do it on my own) and “you’ll regret being like this when we die” (fucking hell, you’re 58, not 80) and “you have no reason for being disrespectful to us” (being disrespectful is, in their opinion, just replying to what they say)... All these things, they make no sense whatsoever, and I don’t want to hear them anymore; there’s not one little bit of truth in them, but still, they can’t understand it. I can’t even make jokes or criticisms, because they always take it the wrong way. I don’t know what to do. Almost another month here, it’s going to kill me. And after that I’ll have to stay with them because I know how short with money they are and I don’t want to spend anything. They already have to pay the deposit for my flat in September which is going to be loads of money and I don’t want them spending even more money on me and then tell me I’m a spoiled ungrateful little girl.
Fuck them, fuck them.
Anyway, let’s talk about something else. Paul, I don’t mind you or any of my friends (well, apart from a couple of really specific people, lol) reading my site. I think it probably shows a side of me that it’s not always visible even when you know me... I guess? The point is, I always appreciate people telling me their opinion about some issue I am thinking about; so your advice is more than useful! Once again, I have to say, I am really happy that I met Sophie and she met you... Those have been some of the best things that happened to me during this overall amazing year in London... :)
I am not in the mood to write anything more; it would be probably be too bitchy to be in any way interesting... So I’ll stop here, connect, post this, download my mail and go to my room, because I’m really not keen on spending the evening with my parents.