Well, I am still in Turin for three days... It’s way too hot, but I am surviving, maybe sweating so much is going to be good for me? *lol* I might lose some weight... :)
Today is Paul’s birthday, so happy birthday Paul! I texted him earlier and he told me that he was heading to the park and that life is wonderful! It’s nice to hear that people you really care about are happy, but still, I WANT TO BE IN A PARK IN LONDON TOO!!! *lol* Parks in London are so nice... I think my favourite one is Regent’s Park... But I still have to discover Finsbury Park, eheheh, I’m living just next to it next year... :) And by the way, life is wonderful, I have to agree! Even though it’s going to be even better when I’m back in London... Yeah, I’m obsessed. Seven weeks left (and only three gone, fuck me it’s going slowly. Sniff.
Meeting my ex-ex-boyfriend was... Weird, there’s no other way of describing it. To see him after almost one year, to see that his life went on even without me, it’s... Surreal. And I don’t mean that it shouldn’t have, it’s just weird the way people disappear from your life. They make up most of your life and then they just go, like that.
You know, I don’t know how to describe this feeling I have, like... Everything in my life right now is blurred, things happen and I don’t even have the time to realise it. One year in London, gone, and I swear that I still think, in my heart, that it’s not true. Maybe I complain too much, maybe I should learn to accept things, who knows? Tell me if I’m too boring...
In the last three days I’ve been sleeping at some friends’ of my aunt (it’s a long story), so I was alone when I went to sleep. And I’ve been thinking so much, and I’ve felt the need to write so strong, but I didn’t even have a piece of paper with me... Since I started this blog, well, Vanilla flavoured days, I’ve started to need this, to write down some of my thoughts, the ones that could develop into something important, special, the ones that could make me understand... I don’t know what, understand everything, understand myself and... I have all these doubts, I keep feeling... Incomplete. Like I’m missing out, I’m missing that one link that is going to explain everything...
I’m thinking too much again, but what can I do? When I am smoking a cigarette by a window looking out at the Po, the Mole Antonelliana and the moon? It’s quite a romantic view... I’m back at my aunt’s though, so no more thinking/smoking while looking out at the river... :) I’ll think with some other view!
Anyway. That’s all I had to say, I think (actually, it wasn’t, but I can’t remember the rest)... I’ll try to post everyday, or every two days from now on... I promise I promise! I’m so bad at keeping promises...
Little note I’m adding a couple of hours later (before posting): I just remembered a beautiful feeling. I remembered sitting in the grass in Hyde Park (I think it was...), looking at the blue sky and white clouds while listening to Croatian music, with Jana sitting next to me. Something else to remember about this year. I should start making a list of all these feelings.