When I hear this song, I don’t know why, but I just cry. I only need to hear the first notes and my eyes fill up with tears. Maybe it’s because it reminds me of Cruel Intentions, one of my favourite movies; maybe it’s because, in the end, I am someone who’s more often sad than happy, I have this big chunk of sadness in me which will never go away. That thing that makes me to cry even when I don’t need to, that thing that makes me think so much and makes me see things this way... Who knows? My mum often tells me how she used to be a very melancholic girl when she was my age; maybe I got it from her. Mmh. What I always ask myself, am I unique in my own way, or is there someone else in this world who sees things exactly like me? How different are we really from each other? All of us in this world... There must be a girl, somewhere, who’s thinking the same things I think... Or not? I always ask myself these questions that have no answer and they won’t ever have an answer, how sad is it.
Well, anyway, I’ve been in my usual “weird” mood in the past couple of days, don’t really know why. Everything seems so blurry again, and it’s weird how London seems so far away in time right now, I mean, how my year in London seems to be ages away, years instead of months... And I know it’ll become only more blurry as time goes by, and I know it’s never going to be true because it was too special, but I feel like, one day, it’s going to be lost forever. All the feelings, the things I’ve done, the mistakes, the successes, and just all the ordinary things, they might just disappear one day, I might forget... I know it won’t happen, I know, but the only thought of it is scary, that things last for such a short time and we just forget about them, and time passes and we don’t even know what we did anymore.
I like to write like this, freely, without really connecting things together, just putting words down as they come out from my little, crazy head. Sometimes I wish I was a good writer, someone who can write properly, and make people feel what I feel and really understand what I mean... Can you learn to write like that? I don’t think so, I think it’s something you are born with, the ability to share feelings with people, through writing or anything else...
So, I am leaving the house tomorrow (I am writing this before going to sleep and I will post it tomorrow). It’s always hard to leave places you love, isn’t it? Even if something better is coming up, and for me there are loads of good things coming up, so good oh yes so good... But it’s sad to leave this room, because I really do love it. Well, anyway, I probably won’t be able to post much for the next 10 days... It sounds like my little week in Croatia is going to be so nice, going around and sleeping on beaches, something I’ve never done in my life! I can be such a little spoiled brat... :)
Anyway, I wish you all two really good weeks! I’ll be back in Paris on the 22nd, and then I’ll start packing again... Exciting and boring at the same time, lol! But well, in the end this Summer went faster than what I thought, and I even tanned a bit! Kekeke.
I’m gonna fight them off, a seven nation army couldn’t hold me back... (well, yeah, I don’t really know if he says that in the song, but fuck it, I felt like writing it down, I love this song, reminds me of one afternoon, the Duck & Dive in ULU, Freddie & James...)
[edit] Hey, think of me on the 16th! Please? It's my birthday, we're gonna party like it's my birthday! Well, yeah... Right, whatever. [/edit]