So, my first exam is done with. It went ah-okay, I answered the first question really well and then it went a bit downhill, but I'm confident. What really pisses me off is that I'll have to wait till August to the results! Argh. But I need to start thinking about the next exam now... Sniff.
After the exam I was shaking - don't know why but I had the biggest rush of adrenaline ever when I got out of the exam, I just wanted to scream. We ended up going to the pub after that (my local pub from last year which I hated, lol... They've changed it completely, weird) and shared a bottle of wine with Pooja... So I got kind of drunk, and after that we started smoking... *lol* I'm terrible. It was so nice though, sitting in the sun, on the grass, smoking away. It finally feels like summer, a bit. Which at the same time sucks because I've got exams! *lol* Then I got my fcking period and decided it was time to go home... I'm impressed, maybe I'm going to get my period regularly now (not every 4 months like when I was 13)? Would be nice, lol. I'd feel more relaxed, that's for sure.
I've been messing with my head again, being paranoid, I need to calm myself down, be careful not to ruin things... Maybe my attitude towards myself is negative, it's just that... I know myself. I can just build things up in my head, and then it all goes... Kabooom! And I don't want that to happen do I? Because I love my Jay. He's all mine and I'm not letting him go. *^^*