i've had such a busy week... going up to central london almost every day. i'm tired now. but the final straw was...
after jay convinced me (with all sorts of horror stories) that i shouldn't go to his auntie's birthday, yesterday he calls me at like 2 and tells me that well, in the end, i should go, because he's told his mum that he told me not to go and she got pissed off and yelled at him... so there i went again, catching my usual train to london bridge. i had to go all the way to epping, north london, zone 6 (remember, at the moment i'm in south london, zone 4), where jay and his parents picked me up. at first i was seriously so damn nervous. got to the party, i got introduced to like a thousand aunts and a couple of cousins and jay's brother (+ girlfriend) and sister (+ boyfriend). at first i didn't really know what to do, but then everybody started getting pissed, and after that it was just fine. the moment when everything really clicked into place was when i got up with jay and started dancing with all the aunties to your usual array of 50s/60s/70s classics. i was laughing so hard most of the time... i ate like a pig (mmh. sausages! garlic bread! garlic... and bread???) and talked with a few people. i really really really like jay's family. they're all incredibly funny and nice and crazy (in a very good way) and... i just really like them, with their uber-cool east end accents. lol. i hope they liked me as well, but i think they did; jay's mum was seriously impressed when i got up and started dancing around (especially considering i wasn't even drinking, as the only idea of being drunk makes me sick at the moment). her exact words were... 'you're a feisty little thing, aren't you?'. LOL. LOL.
why do i always look very self-confident to people when in reality i feel so damn nervous? i don't understand. guess the image i've got of myself in my little head is completely wrong... oh well.
so, it was lots and lots of fun. i really enjoyed it. and the punch was so nice, shame i couldn't drink it (apparently it was lethal). we didn't leave until 1.30 or so; so i stayed at jay's parents' house, which apparently is a huge thing because he's never been allowed to have girls in his room. his room is so cute; they built it out of the garage a couple of months ago, and it's so cool! with two brick walls, and white & yellow curtains, and a cool desk. so we christened his cute single bed and then slept cuddling (because we had no other choice). which was lovely... apart from the fact that we ended up only getting four hours of sleep because jay had to go to work at 10 and drive me to the station before that...
so, here i am, back in mottingham. i really want to go shopping, even though i've got no money, because tomorrow is my birthday and i'll spend the day on my own and i'm depressed (which is just all a big excuse). i want... a new pair of jeans... some cute shoes... white pumps, that sort of thing... and tops... come on, it's my birthday... i'm allowed to spend some money... not really but i don't care. XD we'll see.