November 2004 Archives

i've started my essay. but yeah, i've only written the introduction... not the easiest part but almost. ;p still, it's 500 words, so it's a 5th of what i have to write in total. not too bad i guess... think i'm going to write some more tonight.
tomorrow i'm going to a graduate fair, trying to see if there's any jobs out there for me when i finish uni... not so far away in time now. still, i better keep concentrating on what i'm doing now cause not getting a degree won't help...
it's weird, for five minutes i feel i'm in a very positive mood and then the next five minutes i feel like crap. i just need to get this work done really... at least i've already prepared my presentation for next tuesday, and since i've done all of my readings for this essay it might take a while to write it but it won't be too difficult. sorry, i keep babbling on about essays... it's just that they're really taking over my life at the mo. :)
i was reading some pro-life websites earlier, including a website that is considered one of the best ones for pro-lifers out there. and the amount of disinformation and ignorance in it was ridiculous. how can you not think that a woman has rights over her body? i cannot see how people can say that it is not a woman's right. i think reproductive rights are one of the most important things when it comes to trying to tackle gender inequality. in the end, much of the subordination of women in many developing countries is due to the fact that reproductive rights are in the hands of men instead of women. guess i'm a feminist... but anyway, the whole thing really puzzles me. and i am scared of abortion being made illegal in the US. that would be a huge, terrible blow to women's rights. we got this far, why do we have to go back to where we were? it does scare me.
enough for my semi-political/ideological ranting. just something i've been thinking about. meh meh meh. instead of talking about feminism i should write my damn essay about gender. 'how is globalisation gendered? answer with reference to women's income-generation activities.' sounds hard? well, it is. ^^;

so he's gone. he was supposed to go home last night, then decided to stay; and then this morning i was supposed to leave at 8 for my lecture but just stayed in bed with him. the temptation was too great! it's like... every time we see each other we just can't get enough, and we need more and more. don't know what will happen if we keep going like this... *lol*
all that work that i had to do... didn't happen, but well, since i didn't go to that lecture and i don't have to sit at uni for hours and hours, it means i can do work now. even though all i want to do is cuddle in bed and gaze at the ceiling and think about him. he's right, i'm such a soppy bitch. erm. but who knows when we'll see each other again, cause he's finishing his project this week but after this essay i've still got another one to do. bollocks. we can never coordinate our efforts... :)
anyway, we went to the cinema in leicester square to see the incredibles on friday night; and wow it was so good! the only thing missing was, you know, something emotional. i didn't cry like i cried for monsters inc. and finding nemo, but still, it was amazing. i still need to decided who's my favourite character; the baby or edna. hard hard hard. or maybe the kid who keeps looking at mr. incredible whene he gets home from work. *lol*
right. gotta make some coffeee or i'll never wake up properly. argh.

i'm bored bored bored. i'm tired of surfing, jay is being a prick (he's not really, he's just got work to do), there's nothing on tv... boooring.
i was quite surprised today, i found out that a girl in one of my classes has an identical twin!!! t'was weird, saw her on the stairs and then noticed there was a copy of her walking next to her!!! lol. it was this morning as well, so at first i thought i was just tired and seeing double... ;p
my essay is getting on, slowly... i've found a couple more readings, so i know i have a pretty clear idea of what i have to write about... still, i need to start, which is always the hardest bit. i'm hoping to start this week end... maybe... erm.
going to see the incredibles in leicester square tomorrow night, should be fun. it's going to be like a reconstruction of our first date. ;p same cinema... i was thinking that i should wear the same clothes, lol. it would be funny.
it's been seven months. can you believe it? i can't.

here he is. in all his beauty. isn't he gorgeous?
seriously. all mine.

ok, i am happy to have my period, finally. but still... there's no need to get cramps that wake me up at 4 in the morning and keep me awake until i take some paracetamol right??? it's a bit too much... considering i've NEVER had cramps this bad. fck. poor me. i need cuddles.
this morning i tried to wake up at 8 for my class but there was no way... so i'm going to the next one at 12. i feel very lazy but well. i'm a university student and i can do what i want. bwahahah. i feel bad though cause the lecturer is so sweet...
jay and i went through an extremely rough patch this week-end. but we're still here, we're still standing. and we still love each other a lot. there's nothing we can't work out, i am convinced of it. :)

sainsbury's on a sunday afternoon, what a hellish experience. i'm never doing it again, next time, ban laziness, i'm going on friday or preferably wednesday in the morning when it's nice and empty and you can still find bread. ;p and people don't attack you with their trolleys. argh. at least now i've got food, and lots of healthy things, tomatoes, mozzarella, yoghurt, bananas, apples, pears, salad, eggs... nice nice. and i resisted all the temptations, the only things i bought that are sort of unhealthy are drinks (white cranberry & apple and robinson's for milk, which is like the BEST, strawberry flavoured milk mmmmmmmh - maybe i'm still 10 or something?) and three strawberry trifles. i haven't had those since last year. *yum*
think i'll do some more work now. i'm loving this weekend, it feels so long and relaxed! having friday, saturday and sunday is great; and even though i miss jay it's nice to have three days all for myself. no stress, i can stay at home and do my thing, you know. :)
the only stressful thing so far is that the bloody neighbour upstairs started having an argument on the phone last night at about 2, just when i was finally falling asleep (yeah, i'm not sleeping well lately. i think it's because i'm too used to sleep with jay, because when i'm with him i fall asleep in 5 minutes)... and then went on for half an hour or so. fcking irritating, i'm telling ya.

once again, i've changed the pictures in the layout. i do know i should make a new one, really, but i love this one too much. and at the moment i don't have the energy to make it... even if i did, it would be in the same style. simple, with bits and pieces from my photos, just the way i like it. anyway, it took me ages to choose the photos to use, because so much has happened since i changed them last!!! india, croatia, 6 (almost 7) months with jay, the third year, the new flat... so yeah. the next one will have more space for pictures, me thinks. ;p but as usual i was narcissistic enough to put in two pictures of myself. bwahahah. wanted to put jay's beads in as well but they didn't fit. sniff. i love jay's beads. have i ever said? jay is obsessed with beads; the bigger the better. he's got a weird style, that boy. he doesn't think it's a style but it is.
but anyway, i'm feeling better now. had a huge argument with jay last night/today, got extremely upset, and then realized i was being (sort of) a muppet. stefania, tell me about PMS! i'm blaming it on that. i think the fact that in the next few days i'm going to get my period for the first time in 4+ months is fcking with me. well, hopefully i am getting a period. should do really. argh.
everyone has gone out to a rave... sniff, the first one i'm missing in a while. but i really don't feel like going so... i think i'm getting over them, which is a shame. i still love raving, but i can't do it as often as i used to anymore. once every couple of months is enough for me... too much work, too many things to do, and going to a rave means losing two days because of the lack of sleep and need to recover. so nope, can't do it right now. maybe i'm becoming too adult, you know. lol.
or maybe not, since i've been blogging like crazy again (hadn't done it like this since... my first year, probably), with the longest entries ever. eeeh. well. gotta go find something to do now... procrastinating, possibly.

problems problems problems, always coming up. last night i was so upset i fell asleep crying, and then kept waking up with this horrible headache; and i know PMS is partly responsible for all this. now i feel like shit and so tired. i think i'll go and have a nap and wait for jay to call me... if he ever does and doesn't hate me already.
fcking horrible day.

it never seems to stop. really. handed my essay in, now i'm already stressing about my next two + my essay outline for refugee crisis (one 5000 word essay, due in april, but i've gotta give an outline in on the 10th of december). plus one of these essays is for my gender and development class which i'm really enjoying and it's the only assignment for it... i NEED to do well. so i've started looking at readings and so on, and am starting to get stuff out of the library TOMORROW. go me. i'll make it. ;p
going to see jay tomorrow cause i miss my baby... and he's going home at the week-end so it's my only chance to see him this week. he's at uni the whole day on wednesday so i'll do work then... on top of my assignments i have one novel to read for next week, a presentation in a couple of weeks, and loads of articles to read for all of my classes. who am i fooling? i've got a lot more work this year than i did before. or maybe i'm just more conscious of it and i want to do more... i wanna succeed, you know. do well. make myself and those close to me proud. which is silly, cause education doesn't really mean anything... but it is the way i was brought up, i need to do well...
talking of being proud, i've just seen an advert on tv that made me really proud, because of one of my family members... can't say anything because it's a secret. ;p i'm just happy.
need to get some beauty sleep. tomorrow i'll be up at 8 and i'll make it to the damn lecture i seem to be missing all the time!
(i hadn't been writing very long entries in a while... feels gooood XD)
[edit 10 minutes later] ok, we've met all of our neigbours at once!!! sophie & paul couldn't sleep because of the noise of someone's tv. at first we thought it was the people upstairs so sophie went to talk to them, got this chinese guy who then came down to hear it and was quite apologetic. as he goes back upstairs we realise it wasn't actually its tv but it came from downstairs... ops. so i went to talk to the people downstairs and this cute girl with platinum hair answers the door. told her it was very loud (i could actually hear it from the stairs as well) and she said we're very loud in the morning too when we walk around... ops. and her bedroom is directly below mine. erm. anyway, in the end we agreed and were chatting away, she said she'll try to keep it down after 11 which seems fair enough. sophie came down and we all introduced ourselves but i didn't really get her name... no idea! think she's from eastern europe or something? not sure. weird. so yeah. now we know our neighbours. shitty insulation under the laminate flooring... [/edit]
[edit no. 2] my lecturer said my idea for my assignment (the 5000 word one) is really good. YAY. XD wicked. now i can start looking into it... bwahahah. [/edit]

i spent the weekend doing nothing... after sort of finishing my essay on thursday, i just thought, fck, i'll go to jay's house. and we spent three days eating, watching films and kissing. basically. which was oh-my-god so nice but went by so quickly. *sniff* and now i'm back home, with one presentation to do for tomorrow afternoon. ops. luckily it's easy enough i can do it in a couple of hours, tomorrow between my lectures. kekeke. i'm a bad student.
we watched a few great films... i can't decide whether magnolia was good or not; a bit too long, and a bit too depressing. but the actors were really good and the general idea of weird links between people was good. but still... i don't know. cowboy bebop: knockin' on heaven's door was GREAT, i love spike. and faye! but edo is the absolute best. so fcking funny. the fifth element was quite good; i hadn't seen it since it came out, and i was... not impressed, it was all a bit too sappy, but entertaining. and you gotta love milla jovovich (big bada-boom!). finally, we watched equilibrium, which was... wow! i mean, it's the same old story, a bit 1984, but so good. the actors were good, the plot was worked out very well... apart from the ending which was a bit rushed. but i liked it.
i love watching films with jay. it's so much fun to do things with him... next weekend i wanna go out and do something though. like go to the park, or go to the cinema again. i've given up on going out for dinner cause... not sure why, partly because i know we'll end up eating like pigs (lol) partly because it would be quite expensive. i feel so boring at the moment, i don't wanna spend money, i don't wanna party, i don't wanna get drunk, i don't wanna get high. i just want to have a nice time with my boyfriend and my flatmates and do well at uni.
guess there's nothing wrong with that right? :)

back at jay's house, once again. it's so nice to have a sexy boyfriend. *grins*
eminem's new song is wicked. the one about his daughter, you know... it's really cute and really sad.
and that's all i wanted to say... ;p

essay writing is so much bullshit. i'm just soooo bored. can't wait to finish it. i've done half of it, introduction and two stories, but also have used 2/3 of the total words (1000 out of 1500). ops. hope i won't make it too long. in any case, it won't be very good... or maybe it will, it's just that i've never written an literary essay in english, so i'm confused.
in other, happier, news, i got my tamagotchi in the mail today. XD yes, i bought a tamagotchi off ebay. how much of a weirdo am i???

arafat is dead. shiiiit.

got stuck in essay writing and just gave up after 680 words... couldn't be bothered anymore and i'd done so much cutting and pasting and deleting that it just seemed silly. i wasn't in the mood, and i need to get into the whole essay writing thing again. so i'll finish tomorrow... it's only another 800 words, which is nothing really... i'll be fine. and i like this, finishing an essay 3 days before it's due, think it would be the first time in 2+ years. XD i am a lazy lazy lazy student... lol. but that's the way to be really. i think i work a lot better under pressure. ;p
apart from that, i've done nothing the whole day. i've noticed, now that i'm on the pill again... i'm just constantly hungry. it sucks. i'm eating like a pig. i don't wanna put weight on again. :/ silly me... so i'm trying to be careful and not eat too much, but i've been addicted to biscuits lately... fruit shortcakes and oatmeals in particular. *yum* with my tea. *double yum* need to stop! right now! i'm not buying biscuits again. at least i've stopped eating crisps completely.
i don't really feel like going to my tutorial tomorrow, especially since i haven't done my readings, but i will. i've been really good so far, only missed a couple of lectures and i think one tutorial, so i need to keep being a good girl. i want to impress myself, you know. show myself i can do it, because laziness, in my case, takes over a tad bit too often. ^^
bed bed bed. gotta be up at 8 tomorrow. blah.

today i'm going to (attempt to) write my essay. and guess what? i can't be bothered. ah ah. usual me... sniff. and it would be sort of interesting, if i hadn't obsessed about it so much that i find it boring now.
i've cleaned the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, my bedroom, mopped the floors, changed the sheets... what else can i do to avoid writing this damn thing??? well, blog of course. -__-;

it's ten past nine and i feel like going to bed. that's how tired i am... uni 9 till 5, killed me... i was quite good though, while waiting for my lecture at 3 i read a couple of articles and started thinking about my stupid essay. can't wait to just get it done... aaah. i'm such a lazy bum sometimes.
this website is brilliant. made me laugh.
i'm not in a very good mood, but i'll get over it. strangely enough, after having the day from hell (more or less), watching a semi-erotic thai film (for my literature class) actually lifted my spirits. it was the most depressing film ever as well. but good, and a weird insight into a completely different culture. hey, it's not porn! it's just this film they did out of a really famous thai novel which was kind of... revolutionary. talking about sex and stuff.
tomorrow: gender and development, state & society in asia & africa and then i'm meeting carole to discuss our essays and get some ideas together. should be useful.

there are so many firework displays all over the place... bonfire night is fun. sadly we didn't get to go to one... my fault. :/ erm. oh well, apparently there's a display at victoria park next friday, so we might go to thet one.
went to see the grudge last night, and it was SO scary. brrr. i'm really scared of ghosts now. the woman in that film is just terrifying. and the little kid! *shiver*
also, we went to forbidden planet today (we, obviously, is jay and me), and i bought i cute little rabbit (picture soon) and jay bought a spawn model which is quite cool really. central london on a saturday afternoon is HELL though. after that we went to have dinner for laurie's birthday (laurie is sophie's sister harriet's boyfriend) which was quite good fun, apart from the fact that it was all the way down in whitechapel, which is a very dodgy/scary area. it was a lot of fun though, and i had the best sirloin roast ever... mmmh. *yum*
plan for tomorrow: national gallery and maybe tate modern. should be good, i haven't been there in so long! i really like the museums in london... :)

i'm just in a very meh, lazy, stupid mood. it sucks.
and that's it.

it's done. we're fcked.

i'm getting extremely stressed out. who is it going to be? i was up until 2 o'clock watching tv, i get up at 9 and we still don't know! i just hope BUSH is out. that aren't that many states left that haven't called... need to find a list on the internet... NOW!

i've been staying at jay's since last friday... i was supposed to go home yesterday, then today, now tomorrow. but it's reading week so it doesn't matter.
we watched spirited away last night; didn't finish it cause jay fell asleep (it's really long isn't it?) but... i LOVED what i saw. i liked it so much. and since lately i've seen quite a few disney/pixar films, it was interesting to make a comparison with those... japanese animation is so different from everything else. it's weird. i like it a lot more though... i loved monsters inc. for example, but nothing beats anime. in particular, nothing beats miyazaki/studio ghibli stuff...
we went out to dinner with some of jay's mates as well, which was fun... i'm really proud of myself, i get on with almost all of them (minus one, but i'm working on it)... which is nice. :)
going back to read my heat magazine now... ;p