February 2005 Archives

after today, i'm not going to see jay for three/four weeks (depending on whether i go home for a week or not). now, it's not because he's going away or anything like that. we've decided (well, he's decided and i've put my conditions in) to do this because jay is feeling too stressed and he's got too many things going on, and with the amount of work he has to do in the next three weeks he really needs to concentrate.
obviously, i'm not exactly happy about it. actually, i think it sucks. but what can i do? he's asked me to do it and we've been arguing too much and if it makes things better then so be it. but still... ok ok, it's not a very long time, three weeks. but i'm weak and i know i am going to feel lonely.
damn. why did this have to happen to me?
can someone out there tell me if i'm being too melodramatic? am i wrong in feeling that, for me, this is a big deal?

let's see. :)
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had a huge row, made up. i spent tuesday night at his house and it was really nice... we're just both really really really stressed out about things. i hadn't realised until last week how many things are going on in my head; all of these weights that i just keep shifting around, thoughts i'm not analysing properly because i can't be bothered and so they just hang over me constantly. the fact that i have to get on that damn train to get to jay doesn't help either. he seriously has to come to my place more often otherwise i will go insane and beat someone to death with my ipod. ^^;
i still have a cold (i'm in the 'extremely sore throat' phase at the mo). it keeps snowing but it doesn't stay, but it's still so bloody cold.
jay is going for a day trip to france with his mates tomorrow, which means i won't see him, obviously. i miss him. too much. things need to change, soon...

another monday, another week, more uni... the end of an era, getting closer and closer.
i'm scared.

last night i went out properly for the first time... in months, really. went to sinergy project, still my favourite night (wicked psy trance and wicked chill out). it was good fun... i had to pay the full price (£15 instead of £10) cause they were being dicks and the queue for student concessions was soooo long. but it was worth it... we were in there from around 12 till 7.30 or so. it was fuuuun. i was talking to quite a few interesting people and sitting down mostly (i only danced for maybe two hours or so), but that's what i love doing! i feel a bit shitty now, despite sleeping from 9.30 until 4... what i love about this though is that today is only saturday! so i've still got tomorrow to rest and recover and i might even do some work for uni. ;p
i miss my jay. i need cuddles. *sniff*

i'm going to get my purse in the morning! yay!
a huge, massive thank you goes to my beloved, oh so pretty ANA, who sent me a cd of pictures through rene' and sameen. pictures from new year's eve and more, with all of the people i know from croatia, and the loveliest letter ever. i have to admit, i was a bit jealous!!! *lol* cause they all looked like they were having lots of fun, and my new year's eve more or less sucked, so. ;p but more than that, i miss those guys, i feel like i'm missing out on a lot being here, and it makes me a bit sad. but just seeing the pictures and remembering the summer made me so happy... i'm just confused at the moment, basically. :) but yes. thank you darling. i love you lots! and god you're even prettier than i remembered! they should make an ana doll, someone out there! *lol* and i wish i could see all of you, jana and dunja and vedran and goran and rene'. *sniff* i can't wait for the summer and my birthday!!!
meh. apart from that... everything's good. tomorrow i'm finally doing some work. i need to wake up and do something with myself! duh.

i just got an email through my university that some woman in a shop has found my purse!!! and she left her number so i'm calling her tomorrow morning. YES YES YES! MY PURSE IS BACK! BWAHAHAHAH! XD this is so lucky! I AM SO LUCKY. wow. the excitement.
shame they got my name wrong (jenina wittenburg, lol). XD so so so happy.

i'm still at jay's house... have to go home today because i have no clean pants left. eheheh. :) but probably coming back here tonight... it's reading week next week, so no lectures! yay! but still, i should do some work... ;p
i'm feeling much better now. the flu is almost completely gone, finally! i went through different phases... first sore throat, then fever, more fever, aching bones and muscles, silly nose and silly voice, more sore throat, then unstoppable sneezing, and now it's all mostly gone. phew. at least it only laster 4 days in total. ;p stupid flu.
gotta go and have a shower now!!! lalala...

i've got the flu. damn. i feel like absolute rubbish.

my wallet got stolen while i was buying plants in columbia road market. damn. i cancelled my card immediately and reported it to the police as well. what i'm pissed off about it's not the money (15 quid, i can live without), but the fcking wallet. cause they've probably just thrown it in a bin... not only was it a lovely wallet and brand new, it also was full of things with sentimental value AND all of my SOAS cards and whatnot.
fcking thiefs. i hope you a lot of illness and unhappiness! *GRRRRRRR*

i'm back home, sadly. *sniff*
yesterday i met up with my mum at the v&a, then we my brother picked us up (we had to fit the three of us in a mini, not funny, i'm telling ya) and we went to the saatchi gallery, which was really nice. there were two painters i really liked... now i can't remember their names. need to write them down. anyway, after that we went for dinner at wagamama inside harvey nichols, which was lovely... noodles can be soooooo nice. we talked mostly about my brother and the options he has at the moment in terms of jobs. he could even end up in hong kong... how cool would that be???
i've decided. skirts are nice to look at, but so damn uncomfortable. i need trousers to be happy. seriously. it's torture otherwise. after that i got the bus home but then ended up getting off at charing cross and going to jay's, since i had today off, it made sense. i was so tired by the time i got there... i fell asleep like a rock and didn't wake up until 11 or so. t'was lovely. i need my boy, what can i say.
a couple of days ago i found an lj by someone from soas, and it's so much fun to read about dinwiddy adventures again. feels like ages ago when i was in there... and it is, really. it's been two years and a half since i've moved to london. damn. but anyway, it's nice to think about all the crazy stories i've got from halls. i could tell you about a thousand different ones... i miss it in some ways, cause it is the ultimate student life in there. i was getting drunk all the time... making friends... it's weird to think that it won't happen again, not in the same way...
but there you go, i'm being nostalgic again so i should stop. :) other than that, the essay is almost finished, i only need to do the conclusion. which i will, i'll have plenty of time before mind. the only problem is that the essay is already 1,670 words, and it's only supposed to be 1,500. but then, there is one truth at soas: if you don't put your word-count in (which most people don't do anyway), nobody will actually bother to work out exactly how many words an essay is. eheheh. the tricks of a third year.
off to bed. got stuff to do tomorrow... shame i haven't done the readings for my tutorial. :/