back in london. it's very hot and very sticky. but i'm staying with carole which is lovely and learning more about the student ways than i've done in the last three years.
my throat hurts again. i just hope it's not the stupid infection! i don't want to be in bed with a temperature for two days! :(
saw sameen last night; coffee (well juice for me) and then pizza for which he paid (did i thank you?!? i hope i did). it's nice to see people again, and talk, and feel... like i really do have a life here. my friends. my city.
also saw susanna before she left for china, and learnt about the annoying italians in dinwiddy (long story). i even spoke to one of the security guards from my first year and it turns out, he's actually a nice guy. lol. i just remember him being a bit nasty back then!!!
what else? i think that's it; i need to go up to angel to buy a simcard and reconnect myself to the world, phone all sorts of people... find out where i'll be staying after graduation. i've changed my ticket so i'll be around the 2nd of august (!!). i just hope i'll find something to do. i'm seriously thinking about going to scotland to see kirsty...
yesterday, on the train, for the first time in three years, i wasn't excited about coming back here. too many bad memories. i hate what this breakup has done to me - made me sad about coming back to the city of my dreams... and that made me realise how much this has affected me. how much. it'll take me a long time to feel normal again. at the same time, i know, or at least i think i know, i'll come out as a much stronger person. weirdly enough, i actually have never had such a high opinion of myself as right now. it's a combination of my first, feeling interesting, and feeling pretty. something i've always wanted but... there is still this feeling, in my stomach, like there's always something wrong.
something's wrong and i can't change it. that pisses me off. i need to get what i want.