...it's really time i updated properly, because guess what, at 13.50 on sunday i will be on a flight leaving paris and going to bangkok! and i'm scared and excited and don't feel ready at all but then i'm as ready as i can be.
my backpack's done (and it weighs too much, even if it's only 12 or 13 kgs), i've bought insurance, someone is booking my hotel in bangkok, i've sent an email to the people in ko pha ngan for the hotel there... the whole thing is planned out... i can't believe i'm going, finally, i wish i had a week at home to prepare psychologically, but then that would probably drive me crazy!!!
i don't know what to write, what to say, all of these things i could say, to them, to you, to him, and once again... i'm being cryptic but...
and see, i'm doing it, despite you, everything you did to me and all of the tears, and for once i'm proud of myself, and i'm grateful to all of them, the people who love me, and to him, because he has listened to me like you never have done. i'm bitter still, but fuck you, i've moved on. this is gonna be so amazing, and guess what, you'll never experience it and YOU'LL NEVER EXPERIENCE ME, and how great i can be, ever again.
i'm taking the power back.
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay a while
and she will be loved...