You're everything I could want
There's no house you couldn't haunt
You're the key that could keep me in
You're the sense under the skin

I won't bring you roses
I'll bring myself instead
Time only is time
For what is meant
Not what was said

[...]

You're a dream I could wake up in
You're a fight I shouldn't try to win
You're the door I'll always leave open
You're the heart that's always hopin'

this song came to my mind as i was thinking of someone... someone, someone, i want to be cryptic but i don't want you to think of the wrong person. i'm losing track of what's important, that's for sure. but anyway, it's someone i shouldn't be thinking about too much - but not someone i shouldn't be thinking of at all (which sometimes happens, and you're right, i am being stupid, after that email... fuck).
seems like i've messed up on all fronts, somehow. people ignoring me, maybe, or just being busy? well i know one person is ignoring me for sure.
tomorrow will be the end of wireless internet for a bit - we only had it installed to try it out, now we'll see if we'll get it or not (i sure do hope so). btw, i don't think there's anyone around good enough with computers to access my files - and tbh i do everything on the net (emailing, posting, etc.) so it shouldn't be a problem right?
it's been raining non-stop since this morning (it's 6 o'clock now), and not just normal rain, it's a fucking tropical rainy day, floods; to walk from the guest house to the office (about 20 metres, give or take a couple) i had to literally wade through rivers. bored bored bored. watched a couple of ER episodes but now i really can't be bothered, and almost no one has emailed me, and i can't keep bugging people with general emails that don't actually say anything.
tonight we're going to a restaurant, western style, here in sigli! i'm going to have a nice juicy steak - i seriously never thought i'd miss western food as much as i do. it's crazy. i see people in films eating big, fat, greasy burgers and i envy them. it's ridiculous. :)
was talking to a friend in london on friday and she told me she was going out to mass. gooood. i want to go out and party. seriously. and get incredibly pissed or something. i guess it's a good thing somehow, that i can't drink out here (alcohol is illegal or something, so they don't sell it anywhere), considering i'm already smoking lots and eating lots. and doing even less exercise than i normally do - i literally walk to the office and back, or if i'm lucky to the car and then from the car to wherever i have to go. i'm becoming a fat lazy slob. *sigh*
i'm not even in a bad mood. just meh.