today has been half and half of everything. ne' carne ne' pesce.
lots of things to do as soon as i got to the office. then i did them all (in record time, can i say...!) and all of a sudden i was procrastinating lots. but happy because i did things.
since 'the big boss' has been gone it's been great, i have an office all to myself, i plug my ipod in as soon as i get in and listen to everything, from the cure to royksopp to massive attack to cheesy house music (memories of croatia...!) to john mayer to... god knows what. and i sing along and do my work happily. the other great thing about the office is that, like everywhere else in indonesia (and i mean, literally everywhere, even hospitals), you can smoke. which is bad for me certainly, but makes it a lot more relaxing. :)
anyway, as i was saying i started procrastinating.
got the first email my mum has ever sent to anyone, which made me so proud (!!!). see, she's taking computer lessons. my mum is soooooo cool sometimes. :P so that made me happy.
and i was very happy for a while. happy of the kind where i walk around saying 'selamat pagi' 'hello' e 'buongiorno' to everybody.
i borrowed one of the cars and went to do some shopping (basically, biscuits, cereal and soya milk).
and then i started feeling weird. spaced out. sigh.
had some whisky, kindly offered by philippa; and now i feel even more spaced out. and freaked out because i have this eczema-like thing on my legs (which i sometimes get), especially around my ankles, and i'm scared it might be dengue fever.
meh. i guess i need sleeeeeeeeeeep. sleep sleep sleep. mmmmh. my cute barbie room with pink curtains, a huge fake crystal chandelier and my single bed with sheets from my mum and a blanket from lake toba. and all of my things around me - could you believe it, i feel at home here? i feel... comfortable. i guess i only need my little space to feel at home somewhere. and i can't decide whether that's good or bad.
and now i'm listening to don't come knocking and thinking... of one person, or maybe a couple, or maybe a few... but ok, let's say of one in particular. and now i feel a bit sad i left so soon, because at the end of the day we don't really know each other, and will we have the chance again or is it all ruined? but i'm being pessimistic now. which is not right because i spent the whole day in a good mood so i should be in a good mood now.
and i am, i have a smile on my face and... even though i miss you, i know i will be there, and i'm happy here, and why rush through things when i can enjoy them?
maybe i have really learnt something out here... patience... or being happy with what you have...