today is a miserable day, stress-wise and rain-wise. i thought the rainy season was over, dammit! i wanted to go see nicolo' who is sick to escape from the office, but i guess not.
things are getting complicated and stressful and as usual i have no idea of what my destiny is - in the sense of what's going to happen to me. complications, complications, at least for once they're not caused by me.
formatted my laptop (well, it's not MY laptop, it's the laptop i use here) yesterday which gave me a lot of satisfaction. shame i lost my favourites (forgot to save them) and this really useful garzanti italian-english dictionary the previous owner had installed. sniff sniff. i need a dictionary and the free ones i could find really suck.
the trip with my mum and my aunt in may seems to be organised. is it gonna happen or not? if it does, it will be amazing. laos seems so beautiful, and i'll be spending a week by the mekong - just saying that makes it cool.
at the moment i have a certain feeling of affective deficiency (carenza affettiva???). i just want someone who hugs me from behind to kiss my neck or holds my hand when i watch a film. and takes the piss out of me when i cry at the end of a film and then kisses away tears. little things like that. at the same time i could not bear the idea of a relationship so i think i'll have to do without. but still. i don't even care about sex, i just i want a friend with whom i can be touchy-feely... sigh.
all of the relationship thinking disappears when i think of oxford though. even though it will be hard coming up with the money... oxford, oxford.
gonna go do some work ah?