laos was amazing. i'm going back in july and i've got this half plan in my head of trying to get work there once i'm finished with postgrad. it's such a beautiful country, with beautiful people: it's the romantic idea of a third world country with a colonial past i had in my head. i will write more at some point.
bangkok was good fun, as usual; the trip back was a bit hellish since i left the hotel in bangkok at 5 in the morning and got here at 7 in the evening, and i went through 5 different airports on the way, and three different passport controls. it had its interests though, it's one of those travelling stories to tell, no?
getting back was half depressing half not; we are now seriously depleted in terms of expats, but i have stuff to do and spending some really nice time with people here. life in this place is weird, so out of this world.
in the last few days i've been thinking about two people a lot, and i've realised: i love you. i am not in love with you (and most probably will never be), but i love you so much. i wish we could have something more than what we have, in a lot of ways i do because i know how great you'd be, but i realise it will never happen and i am ok with that. wrong time, maybe wrong people, at the end of the day, but i feel blessed to have met you. you have been and are incredibly important in my life, and you've made me realise a lot of things about myself. and maybe it will all end at some point (i know it will), the weird half relationship part, but that doesn't matter. thank you n. and g. you know who you are.
and so i'm going to stop being cheesy and going to sleep because i've had a headache for three days, and it worries me how my body reacts to this place. i don't know if it's psychosomatic, i'm not unhappy really, who knows. i'm happy i'm leaving in a month and a half though.
and one of these days i'll tell you about my plan for travelling throughout south east asia in july.