August 2006 Archives

i am feeling so sleepy. maybe it's to do with the fact that i had to drag myself to H&M twice today because i stupidly bought a bra the wrong size. managed to buy a few other things though: a basket for diaries&magazines&newspapers for my room; a black eye pencil; a funky concelear pencil; three alice bands (according to accessorize, that's what they're called...), shame i already can't find one; a pair of leggings (see, how the mighty have fallen! taking it a step too far you think?); and of course, the bra i mentioned. i can see very little money in my future, simply because i have no control over my spending. sigh. two more years of student life will be tough.
speaking of which, i've made a promise to myself that once i've finished reading my three current books ("the accidental" by ali smith, "prozac nation" by elizabeth wurtzel and "ghostwritten" by david mitchell) i will only read university related books. i really need to get started on them (no chance on me reading the statistics' ones though, or economics...).
monday afternoon i shall leave paris for a week to go to the south of france with my parents. we will be staying at a friend's house near avignon, and i can't wait to relax out there... even though i will greatly miss not having the internet. i am so addicted it's not even funny.

++ the restaurant i'd decided on for saturday night (boulevard brasserie in covent garden) was lovely, and in the end a lot of people turned up. nice surprises were susanna (whom i was very happy to see again!) and my ex ryan whom i hadn't seen in so long. other guests included: sophie, paul, harriet, laurie, sameen, liz, kirsty, minee and some of paul's friends.
++ we then went to a weird psy trance night - we thought it would be in a rather big club called mass (it is in a church...) but instead they decided to organise it in a tiny little room, no chill out area... so as minee put it we made our own subculture and ended up sitting on the wooden animals in the children's playground next to the church a lot. sameen was there with us which was truly bizarre. the whole night was insane, worthy of a birthday party though.
++ i saw two exhibitions with my dad which were lovely: che guevara at the v&a (i never realised just how popular that photo of him is) and rebels&martyrs at the national gallery.
++ i also saw kirsty, paul and minee one last time before leaving, and we watched the anchor man. truly weird film.
++ HSBC won't give me the loan i wanted, and i felt like i was foocked for a while, but hopefully i'll find something else. i am NOT giving up on oxford. no way.
++ i didn't really want to come home; dragged my sorry ass and stupid broken suitcase to waterloo and felt like crying. once i got here i was kind of happy though. it's nice to come 'homehome'. :)
+ my aunt is here and we're spending a lot of time together, which also makes it easier for my mum... it's been nice and in no way as stressful as i thought it would do.
++ yesterday i went on a small shopping spree with my aunt, and we ended up staying out for six hours. new things in my life: bourjois makeup (bronzing powder with its cute little brush), golden handless gloves (what the hell are they called again?) from trazita, pens&pad from muji, the latest copy of wad magazine, a long glass bead necklace from antoine et lili, and the cutest gray woollen dress from maje (their website is not working - it's a quite famous designer shop that sells uber cute clothes - the dress is something very english empire style and very 70s, and just the sort of thing i love right now). t'was all worth it even though i was completely knackered.
++ this afternoon i went to the palais de tokyo with my aunt, which was ah-ok (it's always a bit weird seeing such a beautiful big building which has been destroyed inside to make space for half-interesting modern art). the museum shop was wicked though, and i ended up buying a copy of lula mag, which is only at its second issue and has uber gorgeous photographs of pretty dresses from unknown designers and interesting interviews.
++ and just to continue with the whole shopping list thing... this morning i got this perfume stick which is SO yummy. so i smell like sweet jasmine. gotta love it. i also bought body moisturiser from la roche-posay, which is my saviour brand for mixed oily/dry super sensitive skin. and finally, i might fall to the craze and buy... leggings. eurgh. after i bitched about them the whole time i was in london, i actually quite like them...

i didn't realise i hadn't updated this since the day before my birthday. guys, i'm 22, nothing has changed. i feel like i'm on the brink of old age though...
speaking of which, my birthday was spent quietly, seeing giles during the day and then going to a play in some park in east london with kirsty in the evening. from one bout of depression to other ('oh i'm becoming old', 'it's not like being 18 is it...', 'this is the beginning of the end!') i actually managed to have a nice time, walking around parts of london i didn't even know existed and talking a lot of rubbish.
yesterday was spent resting (because i am getting more and more tired by the day - i'll need a holiday after this!!!) and then in the evening going for the quiz at the baring (the pub where kirsty works, which is very local and very lovely). our team was called 'we're gonna party like it's my birthday' (guess who picked the name?) and composed of yours truly, paulie (oh! i'd missed him) and mukesh who i'd already met last week. to our huge surprise we ended up winning... a three litre bottle of red wine, which will be drunk tomorrow in kirsty's garden whilst she's asleep (yes, we have forced her, she's the only one with a garden!).
today i met up with jay (the ex) which was actually pretty nice. slightly awkward at the beginning, but we soon fell into old banter patterns and it was alright. discussed futures, friends, jobs and university. then since we had nothing to do (he's an unemployed bum, i'm awaiting the beginning of postgraduate hell) we decided to go see "lady in the water". which was truly, truly crap. the plot seems to have been written by a child, and even though the whole idea is quite good, the film just doesn't pull it off. i was slightly disappointed, but then shyamalan's films have disappointed me before so... still though, "the sixth sense" and "the village" were bloody good. oh well, i didn't pay for the ticket, so i guess everything's alright.
whilst walking around covent garden, leceister square and oxford street (we did get lost quite a few times, due to jay constantly pretending he knew where he was when he didn't, really) we stopped in a doorway because it was raining, and after a couple of minutes this guy gets there and goes through the door... i was looking at him quite puzzled, and so was jay, and then we realised it was nightcrawler from "x men 2" (that would be alan cumming, imdb tells me). that was kind of cool - how many places in the world are there were you can walk around and just see hollywood celebrities eh? (well, another one would be hollywood)
i've just finished reading "belle de jour: intimate adventures of a london call girl" which was absolutely hilarious and addictive. i can't wait for her second book to come out - i quite literally devoured this one and finished it in about 24 hours. my other latest reads have been "the dice man" by luke rineheart (not quite what i expected, but still strangely fascinating with all of its dice throwing weirdness), "autobiography of a geisha" by sayo masuda (different and more realistic than all of the other ones i've read, even though it's a very simple book) and now "ghostwritten" by david mitchell (who seems to do the same thing in every book, since the structure of this one is very similar to that of "cloud atlas" - it works though). my oxford pre-req readings have been left aside and that is a very bad thing indeed. but who wants to read about anthropology and statistics when they've got a mountain of new novels to get through?
tomorrow night: wine in kirsty's garden in seven sisters, then dinner in covent garden and clubbing in brixton. a proper birthday celebration is what i call a night like that.

there's so much to say; about cornish skies, bonfires on the beach, drunkness, the cerise gaing (don't ask, really, don't), my husband to be (oh our children will be beautiful), my lovely friends over here, the social club, magners irish cider, and how much i miss my friends in indonesia. and of course, most of all, i should be talking about the fact that tomorrow i will be turning 22. i'm going through a mini bout of depression and thinking - where have the last 4 years gone? but i guess it's ok. i'll get over it.
i've been having the best time of my life since i've been here.
i guess this is to say: i am sorry i am not updating properly, but i am seriously tired and the last two weeks have been non stop for me.
i've come so far, and it surprises me every single day.

so after posting about boredom it all changed... since friday i've slept at people's places three times, i've been out clubbing, i've been to the tate modern, i've played monopoly, i've been in a pub quiz, i've been to oxford (and once again got really pissed off with bank people), i've taken a lot of public transport and seen... kirsty, her flatmates, adam, sameen, jay, giles. not bad eh?
i have to say that yesterday after another sleepless night (all thanks to giles!) i was pretty tired, exhausted really, but today i finally managed to sleep in and rest. on a whim i've decided i will go to cornwall to see sophie (and minee) after all, so tomorrow afternoon will be spent on a train.
i wish i could say more but i'm shattered, again, and too much has happened anyway. :) so this is just to say, i won't have an internet connection out there, so i'll be back on monday. or tuesday. ready for some more partying!!! yay.

i have a dodgy stomach. sigh. and i was tired so i didn't really bother making plans with anyone... maybe i should have done? ah-uhm. oh well. sameen&jay (yep, that's right, that's my date's name - he's a different jay though! entirely different...) saturday, kirsty&james on sunday, i think it's good enough.
i found myself cracking up reading this earlier... literally cracking up out loud when i'm here on my own. err. the neighbours probably think i'm weird. but i am so i guess it doesn't matter? anyway here is the quote...
Wednesday One-Liners Keep Things on Track
Conductor, angrily: Yo, stand clear o' the closing doors o' my choo-choo!
--PATH train
via Overheard in New York, Aug 2, 2006
this website is great if you're bored btw. you might end up laughing so hard because of people's stupidity.

so i find myself living in this lovely one bedroom flat, far too empty of furniture (and everything else) for my taste (i am not a minimalist), but lovely notheless.
i cannot help but really enjoy temporarily living in notting hill. i can see the attraction of it - this is the place to have the lifestyle one imagines is right for london, which is only possible when you have a lot of money, and which is therefore most probably not the one i will have.
it's the beauty of it; small streets, small victorian houses, potted flowers, small neighbourhood shops (all pretty and retro), everything so white and clean. this afternoon the weather was glorious and whilst walking back from kensington high street i couldn't help but fall in love with it, green trees, blue skies and old red brick apartment buildings. it's gorgeous.
maybe the only criticism i can make of this is that to me it is not real london; real london is mess, chaos, traffic, dirtiness, and i've learnt to appreciate that. this is a bit of heaven amidst all that, and you can't help but like it because it's what everybody dreams london of being.
so today was spent waiting for a delivery for my brother, and when that was done walking around and buying a few essentials. i now have lush shampoo&conditioner (can't wait to try them out), and a fridge full of berries, plums, yogurt, bagels, cottage cheese and fresh juices. i'm trying to be healthy, you know.
and by the way, my date was sort of anticipated to last night, and i can tell you: it went more than well. i like this guy. we'll see how that goes.
i'm happy to be here.

five hours and i'll be there.
i'm incredibly nervous. deliriously happy.
more from me when i've soaked up the city i love and i have time.
tonight? meeting up with kirsty.
this is so exciting.

i have decided what to bring with me to london. the list includes: 4 skirts; 5 pairs of trousers; 1 dress; 3 shirts; 3 dressy tops; 12 normal tops; 4 bags; 2 pairs of heels, 1 pair of flip flops, 1 pair of birkenstock, 1 pair of trainers and 1 pair of flats (so 6 pairs of shoes); 2 summery jackets; 2 jumpers; 2 dressier short jacket things; and then scarves, pants, bras, socks, books, two bags of toiletries, camera, ipod, books (pre-requisite readings for oxford!), jewellery. erm. you think it's too much? :)
well i want clothes, lots of clothes, i've had enough of backpacks and just enough to get dressed every day. lol. i'm going to rock london with my fashion. i should start taking a photo of my outfits every day... that'd be fun.
my plans so far are: kirsty on friday during the day; sameen in oxford on either saturday or sunday; date on saturday night, or maybe friday (v exciting, got a sexy top for it today, eheh); and then one day next week oxford to open my bank account with HSBC. other than that, it's just enjoying the weather and summer, walk around, take photos, and see other friends whom i still need to contact. and of course, my birthday bash on the 18th. 22 guys, i'm becoming old... don't feel it though. :)
my diet is going well. i think i've come to the conclusion i'd put so much weight on whilst travelling because of all the beer i was drinking. there's no other explanation for the 5 (yes, FIVE) kilograms which have disappeared from the scales. i still need to lose a fair bit though. am trying to convince myself i should start going to the gym when i'm in oxford. eurgh. should do it, really. then no man could resist me (ah ah).
now i actually need to pack this bag. shit. is it all going to fit?!?
(tomorrow night i'll be in london! tomorrow night! tomorrow night! oh dear i'm so nervous)

peterpan are playing on my ipod.
and i can't help it, i feel a bit of nostalgia, for indonesia, those people, and those 8 months. i had a great time and call me silly, but i miss it.
maybe it's to do with the fact that i feel like such a different person now, just because i'm in a different place, a different atmosphere. out there i felt more real, here i feel more of a fraud, sometimes. or maybe i've just changed and i react differently to everything that was so normal to me 10 months ago.
am i made to be here or there?

for dear bell'uomo, who doesn't understand the blonde thing: blonde is, very simply, better. that is, for me of course. not only does it go really well with my half south east asia half fake tan, it's also a brilliant excuse to use when i don't understand something - ops! blonde moment sorry, can you explain that? - which does happen to me every now and again as i can be, as you very well know, a bit ditzy.
my recently discovered beauty 'things' sometimes work and sometimes don't. they all have their problems though. drinking two litres of water a day and taking a diuretic on top of that means i have to go to the loo every five minutes (even without drinking that much water i go every five minutes! dammit!). having to put on fake tan means i have to walk around the bathroom naked waiting for it to dry, or my clothes will get stained. earlier i was putting on shimmering moisturising oil (you know, the hawaian pure monoi stuff) which left me all shimmering and moisturised, but also incredibly greasy (on top of that, the bottle fell into the tub and i wasted about half of it, sigh). and the list goes on. maybe it just really is that i'm a bit too clumsy to do these things. ah. i am convinced i look better than i have in a long time though (the tan does help a lot!), so it's all good.
listen to me, i almost sound like a real girl!
this morning i also went to buy a new ticket for london; so i wasted the £37 i spent on the first one, but well. i'm glad i'm going earlier, staying in paris on my own does not appeal to me at all. so i shall be in london on thursday evening at around 8. how long has it been now? 10 months? i can't believe it's been so long. i almost feel nervous about going, like i am not going to know 'my' city anymore. like i'm going to be scared to use the tube or the buses. lol. i guess i'm just being silly!
i have decided that this time around i don't care if i have a huge suitcase. i am going for almost three weeks and i'm tired of having no clothes (backpacking for someone obsessed with clothes is not fun!), so i'm taking lots of cute things, new clothes, jackets, shoes and bathroom things. ah. i need to feel pretty. now i really understand how kirsty felt like when she came back from tanzania last year! :)
doctor in a bit to get all of those annoying post-third-world-trip test done. eurgh blood tests. i already feel sick.
(by the way, do i sound like i've become too frivolous? i feel like carry from sex & the city. duh)