today was nice, in this weird way: seeing faces from a long time ago, or it seems like such a long time ago! people i used to go to school with... it seems so much longer then four years since i've finished school. can you believe it, four years, and everything i've done in between...
actually, there was someone there who i last saw around eight years ago, and that was bizarre, to see how much and how little at the same time someone can change, their core still the same but so many new and unknown layers over it. i also received some news about my best friend age 10-13, who is in japan! i really need to email her and see how she's doing. and there's a lot more people i should email as well, friends in london, friends from indonesia (nicolo', if you read this: i'm sorry, i've been so busy! i will reply soon, i promise), friends, friends... but the fact that i've been feeling down for the past few weeks isn't helping.
it also doesn't help with my pre requisite readings for oxford: i've done nothing since i've come back from the south of france, and i really do need to read them. well, i'm going to be here on my own for a week (my parents are going to our house in italy) so i should be able to do it then.
i want to see my little room in oxford with all of my things inside it.
i want, i want... this has been a period of yearning for a lot of different things. sometimes it is incredibly frustrating, and sometimes it's nice because you know that the day they'll come to you (and they will) it will be absolutely perfect.
when did i become the person i am today?
(which is not to say that i don't like myself - it's just that sometimes i feel like a stranger)