i finally (hopefully) have found a solution to my spamming problems, so (hopefully) you should now be able to comment without any problems. let's all pray... (since when does movable type suck so bad at keeping spam junked?!?)
last night as i was coming back from a potluck dinner with my coursemates (which was, indeed, lots of fun, even though i left early - there's nothing like seeing people who usually work their asses off getting completely pissed) i met m at a corner, somewhere half way between his lab and my party, and then we got on a bus and came home together; as we were walking, a comment by m made me realise how, maybe, it was wrong of me to post the photo yesterday, and to let the world know just like that.
i think i never realised until recently that even though i do not seem to mind living in the spotlight (to a certain extent), it might not be so for the people around me. i'm questioning more and more the existence of this blog - already most of the 'private' stuff goes on my livejournal, so what's the point of this place? the fact of the matter is, i am not giving up dashofmilk. there is space here for other issues, other kind of entries, and so on; but it does make me sad that sometimes i need to censor myself here. i think the problem comes from the fact that i am a very open person, even in 'real life', and i'd tell most things about myself even to an absolute stranger. does that make me stupid, or vulnerable, or irresponsible? i don't know, but what i do know that it is the one characteristic that has enabled me to meet so many people and make friends here in oxford more than ever before, and as such i am not giving it up.
so where does all this leave me?
* i am frustrated with not being able to say everything i want to say here.
* it annoys me that people, despite the disclaimer at the top of this page, will make comments and talk about this blog when they really shouldn't (this is, in the end, MY personal space and as such i should be able to decide whether it's talked about 'out there' or not).
* it also makes me feel weird that i seem to be the only person i know who is most definitely quite open about talking about their private life.
* finally, i am tired of having to explain to people why writing a blog is good and interesting and addictive; i can't explain it, i never will be able to. all i can say is that it's cathartic, therapeutic, and i'm just used to it. it makes me think and it makes me understand.
at the end of the day, this is my choice. i don't expect people to understand why, but i do wish they'd respect it.
(so it all goes with what i was saying yesterday: IF YOU KNOW ME, DO NOT JUDGE ME. this is most definitely not the place to do that.)