what a truly shit end to a shit day.
and i know it's partly my fault, i get submerged by negativity and then everything turns bad, but at least...
oh, fck it. it doesn't matter. i'm tired, tired of a lot of stuff. all of these things to think about, core essay, weekly reading for my classes, more essays coming my way, a draft proposal for my thesis, it's all becoming a bit much and i don't feel quite committed enough. so i get stressed and just like that, all of the positive things in my life (and there are a few) just disappear, fade into this background of stress. half of the time i love this place, the other half i hate it - i'll be walking down the street and think it's all so amazing, and then by the time i've got back to my room i just want to be somewhere else. all of these ups and downs, they're tiring. what am i supposed to do?
it all comes in cycles, so i guess i'll be fine again in a couple of days and that'll be it.
i do need to deal with all this better though.
i just wish you'd stopped me and given me a kiss, no matter how stupid i was being. i know i was. i feel like i was. all i wanted was a kiss.