March 2007 Archives

i am tired of finding out that people i thought were quite nice are actually not. it's a shame, but i'm grateful for those two or three people in my course that i really like, and i don't know what i'd do without them. f., my only italian girlfriend and comrade in bitchiness, is fantastic. she's one of those people i'm really fucking glad i've met...
all of a sudden i don't regret spending as much time in college as i have - these are my true friends because, you can never trust people when they're competition. you know they'll be nasty at some point.
friday night was hilarious - k. came up from london, and two world met in one evening. my SOAS days and my oxford days coming together, pretty weird but completely worth it. the night was spent drinking in the turf, the king's arms and then the purple turtle. the best of oxford nightlife (sigh).
tomorrow i will be in london meeting important people (for my summer research), and hopefully it will be an evening of wine and drunkness in k's house. ah. i can't wait to be back in the shithole that is turnpike lane. sweet memories of night buses.
so the overall feeling at the moment is: i can't be bothered, and i'm pissed people never turn out to be what they expect them to be. plus, i'm freaked out since my next door neighbour got her laptop and mobile phone nicked from her room whilst she was in the kitchen (people broke the open window so they could get in). stay away thieves! evil people.
tsk.

ah. i'm finally alive again.
let me explain; the end of term, in this crazy place called oxford, is an insane moment in the life of every student. with essays due every week, it becomes hard to follow and to remain whole in spirit.
hence my various almost nervous breakdowns, and now, my being alive because: term is over! i'm on holiday!
which does not mean i have nothing to do; revision will start soon, but for the moment i'm focusing on being productive in all sorts of non-academic ways, especially food related ones. last night i cooked dinner for m and i. the menu consisted of:
* avocado with vinaigrette
* chicken in almond, butter and wine sauce
* green beans with tomatoes, olives and shallots
* amaretti stuffed peaches
and it was all good! imagine my surprise at realising i can actually cook meat!
other than that, i have finally decided to stop eating in the wolfson hall, both because i cannot stand the food anymore and because i'm far too unhealthy (i have put on so much weight since i've been here...). now my meals consist of a lot of different beans, veg, cheese, meat and various seeds. all so yummy. i usually make myself a big salad-y type thing at lunch time (yesterday, for example, was mozzarella, ham, lentils, tomatoes and mushrooms, topped with mixed seeds and vinaigrette) and then different things for dinner, such as soup, or pasta, or omelette.
it's amazing, i've only been doing this for two days and yesterday already i felt so energetic! and so happy! it's great.
plans for the near future include picking up books for anthropology revision, going to london to visit the organisation i will be doing my fieldwork with this summer, and that's pretty much it. for the very near future? shower, clothes, and lunch. this time i'm thinking wild rice, peas, ham, egg and kidney beans... mmh.

here i am, on a break from one of my anthropology essays (the last one! and surprisingly painless to write), reflecting on various things that have happened lately and are going through my head, such as:
* how i wish i could be writing an essay on homosexuality in animals like one of my friends is;
* how beautiful wolfson is, in this marsh state, with the water on the river higher than i've ever seen it - daffodils just poking from the water, and trees growing out of a lake, it very much reminds of cambodia and scary boats on the mekong river;
* how i love this place in many ways, and how i feel part of a family - i enjoy how familiar it all is, walking through the quad and there are i. and c. working in the library, say hello through the window, and coffees sitting outside the upper common room discussing anything and everything, being part of the lives of so many people;
* how distant london and london life have become, and how it makes me a bit sad - but there's nothing to do really, i cannot change the reality that my life is here now, mainly because i do not want to;
* how i almost had a nervous breakdown this week, due to being ill for the upteenth time this year, and work piling up, and feeling scared about exams;
* how knowing the dates for my first two exams (april 24th and 25th) makes no difference at all, but being rational does - i have over six weeks to revise for these, and it will most definitely be fine;
* how i'm glad i finally got a more than decent mark on one of my essays (69 for my essay on interviewing);
* how i need to start taking pictures again, for myself and the 365 days project, but also of my surroundings, my friends, my life, my 'home';
* how i need to start cooking for myself more because, let's face it, hall food is disgusting and i cannot stand it anymore;
* how contradictory my life is, always, happiness, sadness, moments of stress and chilling out, intellectualism and drunken nights out, anthropology and economics, love for certain people and distaste for others, social life and academic life...
how confusing, all this. and do pardon me for the bullet points, but this is one of those moments when i need lists and structure.