April 2007 Archives

exam no. 2 (anthro) wasn't too good, but well. we'll see when i get the results.
in the meantime, lovely carmen has left for africa (sigh) and i'm going to miss her.
also, i'm an idiot and after spilling a glass of water on my laptop, five keys on my keyboard are not working anymore (if you're wondering, they are the letters g and h, the numbers 5 and 6 and the control key). which sucks and means i can't really type on my laptop at the moment. i'll have to get a new keyboard and get it changed, which is annoying. at least i won't have a french keyboard anymore, stupid azerty. tsk.
and now i'm going to go sit in the grass, smoke and sneeze (obviously my hayfever started the moment i finished my exams). i'm tired man.

exam one (economics) is done.
as i expected none of the things i revised for macro came up - thank god for micro! i never thought i'd say that.
anyway, it's back to revising anthropology now.
let's hope the baby penguins bring me good luck... i'll explain when i actually have time. :)
oh, and thanks for the comments people.
much love to you all!

vanina is (almost) exams (tomorrow and day after).
vanina shall be back on wednesday night, after having (hopefully) conquered both economics and anthropology.
think of vanina if you can, because exams are not nice and she needs people to bring her good luck.
(vanina is also going slightly insane, hence the whole speaking in the third person thing in this entry)
vanina says bye and gets back to inflation and the dutch disease.

foucault has been conquered (and so have various others, including escobar, ferguson and geertz), but now the time has come for the final economics revision push.
exchange rate regimes are killing me, and sometimes i wish solow had never been born. inflation is having issues entering my brain as well.
the day i can say goodbye to anthropology and economics will be oh so beautiful.
in the meantime, i can relax by enjoying a nice punting trip like i did this morning. there's nothing like letting someone else move a boat around whilst you sit in the sun smoking and drinking cava (and coming out with the most absurd banter about ducks).
i guess this blog should be renamed to something like: 'a day in the life of an oxford postgrad'. we are a special bunch of people, we really are.
and now m is about to come over to cook me dinner. i have the loveliest boyfriend who takes care of me. sigh. i can't complain, economics and anthropology aside, really...

the punts are out! thanks to me, and a few other people, who bugged the admiral yesterday afternoon until he let us take them out. let me tell you, punts are bloody heavy. but now they're out! and oh! i cannot wait.
plus, i went to the pub wearing a summer skirt and flip flops last night, and even though it turned out to be too cold to sit outside, it still made me happy.
but now it's buying a new white shirt, and studying anthropology. foucault, foucault, why are you doing this to me?

i've just realised i haven't posted in a very long time.
the south of france was beautiful, sunny, warm, full of pretty flea markets, and i bought all sorts of things which i don't need but make me happy, like table mats, napkins, coffee&sugar&flour containers, plates, etc. and took some photos, but not many.
other than that, i'm revising. and it's boring. and i cannot wait for these two exams (economics, both micro and macro, and anthropology) to be over. after the two exams next term should be much, much better. i only have one lecture a week, an essay due halfway through term, a thesis workshop, some forms to fill out re: fieldwork, and a research methods exams on the 13th of june. which, believe it or not, is pretty relaxed compared to my last two terms.
and the weather! oxford is so beautiful! and the punts are about to come out! and my friends (and m. in particular) are gorgeous as usual! and oh! i am happy, despite revision.
i'll re-emerge from my forced isolation at some point, probably. and then hopefully i'll be on a punt drinking champagne (even cava will do) and eating strawberries.

the first time, just 18 years old, before london, before life, before the loss of innocence. still a child.
and the second time, last summer, before oxford, before a new life, a new love, new friends, a lot of stress.
i was very happy, i think, back then. many parts of my life had been empty for a long time, meaningless. but i guess i'd just gotten used to it, i was satisfied with what i had, somehow. and excited about the future, of course. i felt renewed, independent, intelligent.
and the third time, now. those many parts of my life which were empty are now filled, to the brim, with novelty, with happiness, with experience, with growing up. at the same time, i have all this stress, nervous breakdowns looming, wanting for this year to be over, sometimes.
i guess the conclusions i can make are:
* i've grown up a lot since the first time i was here, now almost five years ago.
* the whole 'no pain, no gain' thing is sadly true. i might have felt more content when i was here last here, but that's only because my life back then was on hold, in between things, and it'd been that way ever since i graduated. now it's different. more happiness, true and deep happiness, comes with a lot of problems.
* maybe, just maybe, i should see someone. someone as in a shrink. the thing is: i don't deal well with stress. not anymore. i don't recognise myself in this person who freaks out, and procrastinates excessively when she really shouldn't. i shall be fine in terms of my course, but i now i can do better. i only need to find out how i can make myself do better.
* i miss mike. which is completely unrelated, but so silly, and so endearing, and so true, and so loving, that i have to admit it. we're not a symbiotic couple, but we're pretty close. what can i say? i'm in love.
and now, the prettiest bed is waiting for me, and it's cold, and a day of spring sunshine is waiting for me after a good night's sleep.

it's time to write something here again. i'm sorry i'm leaving this blog to itself so much; it's just hard to find time to write. it is, honest!
anyway, life is fucked up, and people are fucked up, and there are things which make me very sad right now. i need to call a friend who's had bad news and i'm trying to bring up the courage. it's so hard to say something when the most awful thing you could imagine happening happens. what are you supposed to say?
i guess it'll be fine. maybe. i hate feeling powerless and disconnected like this.
in the meantime i'm being frivolous with my mum; i've been in paris for two days, and am now waxed and with new haircut, as you can see. which is uber cute, long at the front and short at the back, like back in summer 05 (i was brunette then though). it seems like i can't stick to any hairstyle for longer than six months these days.
also, shopping. shampoos, moisturisers, face masks, and so on, from the usual beauty monop. h&m has provided me with two summer dresses, three pairs of 70s looking pants, two pairs of tights, a pair of rock star sunglasses and an umbrella (what can i do, a decent umbrella in oxford is £15 compared to the 6 euros i've paid here). and then, the usual maje for a new (more expensive and therefore nicer) dress.
now i need to go and change this shampoo i bought which is totally wrong for my hair. i'm an idiot.