August is a weird month to be in Oxford. Everybody is slowly leaving, as deadlines for master's theses come up, and college is slowly emptying itself of people. Standing on one side of the harbour quad, I can count the number of empty rooms, as they increase day by day. Hall is emptier by the day, with a small group of hardcore stayers eating outside in the lukewarm English summer. In the bar, five or six people play poker every night, and I don't think I've ever seen it as consistently empty as in the last few days.
Emptiness (of people) seems to be the recurrent theme in August.
Because of this it's actually a relief going into London so often, London which is just as full of life and activity as during the rest of the year. The other day, as I was coming back on the bus from Stansted, I looked out on areas of London I don't even know, and fell in love with it all over again. I think after all this, I'd very much like to go back, as a different person, with a different lifestyle. In my mind a new life in London means taking advantage of all the things I didn't take advantage of when I was living there last; the theatres, the exhibitions, the cinemas, the restaurants. Since I know myself, I also know that probably wouldn't happen, but it remains a very nice thought.
So emptiness brings about all sorts of nice thoughts like that, awaiting the near and far future . Including awaiting the 18th of August, when not only I will be 23 years and 2 days old, but I will also be finally moving into the flat. The flat which has been empty for two days already, which makes me slightly angry. Ten days to send the cleaners and maintenance people in? How ridiculous - and yet I can't do much about it, it's the way this college works! In any case, next week is going to bring me some peace of mind. Finally having all of my stuff in one place after six weeks of living cramped into a room. Don't get me wrong, it was my choice to share a room (at the end of the day, I have another room in college, albeit in a horrible building), but it is becoming a burden. Hopefully, these last ten days will pass quickly, which they should.
On Saturday I will be in London, visiting friends from old times, and sleeping in my brother's flat (he's finally accepted to let me sleep there! What a miracle). Sunday will be a busy day of research, and the same goes for Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday will be spent resting, planning, buying, packing, deciding. Both for the move and my college garden party, both happening on Saturday.
In other good news, the same friends will visit the weekend of the move/party, and my parents. I miss my parents nowadays, what a change from my first couple of years of university, when we used to argue so much! I think we've come to an equilibrium now, and I can appreciate them as real people rather than parents. It feels so unsettling, to become equals with our own parents.
I'm philosophising now, and it's only because of a bottle of Hoegaarden, and general tiredness, and my pressing desires and worries of organising all sorts of things. I can't complain, being involved in things and really caring always pays off, at the end.
And finally, my dear F. is on the internet too now, and that makes me happy. I think blogs are a wonderful thing and very therapeutic, plus her having a blog allows me to follow her adventures in Mozambique now that I miss her a lot. And she writes very well, on a level I don't think I'm quite capable of. People are always so full of surprises, especially the people I care about.
And with this vague expression of my love for my friends, I shall go to sleep and prepare myself for another day of anxious waiting for the next day.