One day, I want to live in New York. I also want to live in Los Angeles, Bangkok, and Tokyo. Does this craving for a different life, a different place, ever stop? I guess it did when I was in London, and I think getting out of London was the best thing I could ever have done because suddenly, there are possibilities, there are different avenues. Next year scares me (where will I be?) but at the same time I've been delaying this far too long. Don't get me wrong, coming here was a great idea, and I'm enjoying every second of it.
Throughout today, I had an epiphany of sorts - I don't think I'm made for academia, and I do want to get out there. Somehow I want to drift, and see the world. I don't care much for what is going to take me to the places I want to go to, as long as it does take me there.
In the meantime, the frustration of being unable to procrastinate was made better by ordering a red Moleskine weekly notebook. :) And my Moo cards should arrive soon, and then I'll make pretty things, and I think that will make my procrastination better.
Did I mention I have to write my thesis before Christmas? And a 5,000 word essay, and work through another draft of the report I wrote? Ah. I need to start believing I can do all this again.
And to do that, there's nothing better than to think of where all of this is going to take me, and all of the thousands of things I could end up doing, the places I could end up living in. Dreaming is what keeps me happy.