It seems like in this part of the world, April just does not count as Spring anymore. Today it's yet another rainy, gray day, and I'm craving summer days. I am craving them so much every time I wake up and it's not a summer day, something feels wrong.
I miss those days when you wake up and open the window, and cold air blows in; but it's that special kind of cold air, which already has the feeling of warm summer air in it. I don't know what it is; the smell of growing grass, the humidity. But I miss that moment in the morning when you realise it's going to be a beautiful day so intensely it almost hurts.
This has truly been the neverending winter. I think it started in September, and it hasn't finished yet. I am starting to think I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder. It would explain a lot. For example, the fact that I finally started feeling better and I started writing that one week we had really nice Spring weather. Next year, once a job has been found and a salary has been earned, I might buy myself one of those special therapy lamps. I seriously do not think I can go through another Winter like this one and survive.
Word count: around 29,000.
I am waiting for one of the two people proofreading to come back to me with comments, but so far, nada. I'm not really sure what to do in the meantime, since I've already edited all chapters once or even twice, and so I don't think I can come up with anything that needs changing. It's kind of frustrating and at the same time such a relief to know that I could print out this thing right now and just hand it in as it is. It's also very scary.
Being done with this is going to be such a come down. My hope was that I would wake up the next day and feel free, but... I just don't think it's going to happen. First of all, I'll have to wait until I get the result in June. Secondly, it's just not that satisfying because I have lost so much faith in this institution, this degree...
I think I need something to distract me... Like... Hoovering?
I really should open a cleaning firm. Or a bar. Seriously.