...I very occasionally enjoy a caramel soy latte (which I make myself, at least).
Does that automatically disqualify me from being Italian? :)
Rowing is definitely the top Oxbridge obsession. Everyone in Oxford (apart from me, it seems) either rows or cox, and by the time Summer VIIIs comes around, all you hear is rowing talk. Summer VIIIs is one of the big Oxford rowing competitions (the equivalent in Cambridge is called May Bumps, which actually takes place in June... Oxbridge people aren't that clever, you know). It is, in fact, a bumps race between all the colleges, with around 150 crews participating. Bumps races, again, are an Oxbridge tradition. This is how it works: there are thirteen boats in each division; boats start rowing at a distance of a length and a half from each other (a length being the length of a rowing boat), and then they have to chase each other with the intention of quite literally bumping the boat in front of them. It's quite a lot of fun to watch, and usually filled with drama of broken rudders! Broken ores! People catching crabs! (this is not a sexually transmitted disease, but rather when a rower, because of poor technique, loses control of his or her ore which then proceeds to either hit him or her in the face or sometimes groin, causing the boat to slow down considerably).
Summer VIIIs took place last week (from Wednesday to Saturday) and Wolfson did very well. I was there every day, runing up and down the towpath on the Cherwell to watch our six boats race. Both M and my lovely Russian were participating (M as a cox and rower, the lovely Russian as a rower), and lots of other people I knew, and I had lots and lots of fun. I, of course, managed over the course of four days to sunburn my face and get blisters on my feet from all the running, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.
See, until a few months ago I was a complete anti-rowing person (there are lots of them around!).
But ever since I've started thinking about the fact that I am going to be leaving Oxford soon, my attitude has changed a lot. I realise there are many things I did not take advantage of, for a variety of reasons. And so I am trying to enjoy every moment now, especially when it involves spending time with the people I love the most.
This is also partly because now my life in Oxford feels like a stolen moment. Let me explain... Today, whilst watching the streets go by from M's car, I realised that this is not my calling.
I know why I do not want to do a doctorate. I love my subject, and I find it fascinating, I truly do, but this is just not me. I do believe I have some amazing qualifications, and I could probably excel if I decided to follow this and keep doing it. But it doesn't feel very right anymore. I think I could have picked one of a variety of other subjects and done just as well, but the fact of the matter is, I don't have any particular talent for this. My path is somewhere else.
It's all about finding it now, and this somehow does excite me.
...I love right now?
Alphabeat and their single 'Fascination'. Makes me want to dance almost as much as 'Don't stop me now' by Queen. And 'King without a crown' by Matisyahu, a hasidic jewish rapper, who went to school with my lovely Carmencita. Ah, I am a woman of obsessions.
And, check this out... Every time I see this video, made by one of my friends with plenty of photos from my first year here, makes me kind of teary eyed. That's what it was all about, and even though it makes me sad to say it, this year comes nowhere close it. There's some great people, but that was something else.
In any case, I guess it's all about to end anyway.
But more importantly, last year will be re-enacted for a few days as Carmencita, Char, JP and hopefully as many others as possible will be reunited at the beginning of June! I cannot wait.
In the meantime, I'll avoid thinking about what comes after. And maybe try to revise for my exams...
In bullet points of sorts, because I am tired.
* * *
Another friend who's been around since last year leaves tonight. She's leaving the country and moving to the States for a new job, and I'm incredibly excited for her. Still, it's kind of sad, especially because I know it'll be me soon. We'll miss you S. I'm sure you'll have an amazing time out there.
* * *
Boris Johnson, really? I am reconsidering moving to London! I cannot believe people would elect such a mumbling buffoon, a public school/Oxbridge/never really needed to work guy who obviously knows fuck all about politics. It's depressing to know people can vote for someone that is so obviously not going to represent them in any way. At least the conservatives lost their only two seats in Oxford, and the ward I live in kept its Lib Dem councillor.
* * *
This morning I woke up with one of the worst hangovers of my life. I had no idea three pints of cider could have such an effect on me. Last night included the aforementioned S falling into the river, me poking most of my female friends on the boobs, and more generally a lot of very loud and very inappropriate conversations. I also ended up falling asleep on the sofa, as after coming home at 2.30 I decided to tell M I would 'watch some ER to sober up'. He then had to come get me at 5am and take me to bed. Today was mostly spent feeling sorry for myself, attempting hair of the dog (half a glass of Pimm's which did not go down well), eating barbecued sausages with lots of ketchup, drinking tea and then having Chinese take-away, whilst smoking continuously. Great. I've only just started to feel alive again.
* * *
M and I have been together for a year and a half (and a couple of days). And I'm as in love as always, and cannot believe how complete he makes me feel. This one is a keeper, really.
* * *
I am going home (to Paris) next week, for six days. The longest I've been away from Wolfson/Oxford since Christmas, and also the first time I'll be away from M for more than a day or two since September. Kind of scary, but much needed. The following activities shall be undertaken whilst home:
- Go to the hairdresser.
- Go to the eye doctor and get new contact lenses.
- Go to the German embassy and apply for a new passport.
- Go to my mother's physical therapist and get my back sorted out.
- Download all the TV series I've been missing in the last few months, and a couple of new ones.
- Eat good food.
...And generally veg out.
It's going to be awesome. Apart from the lack of cigarettes. I really do wish my mother would face the fact I smoke. Parents, eh. They'll never get there.
I am getting this urge to move to somewhere new, somewhere different. I love London, and I'm definitely glad to go back there. But there's so many cities I want to live in - Tokyo, New York, San Francisco. And I don't know if ever will.
I keep seeing beautiful photos of cities at night, and keep thinking 'I want to be there'.
I need something exciting. I really do want to live somewhere else.
Why is it that when you become an 'adult' this kind of thing becomes so much more difficult? Moving to London at 18 was the easiest thing I ever did, and I don't think it can be the same now.
I think part of it is that I keep wondering where I'll end up, what will I be doing in two, five or ten years' time...
I'm getting itchy again.
