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the honest truth
Tuesday, October 21, 2008

To be perfectly honest, I feel like rubbish. The last two years have taken their toll, and I was never the strongest person anyway. This transition is turning out to be so much harder than what I expected, not because of any actual failure, but because of my own failures in making it. It makes me wonder if this will ever become easier, if I'll ever feel better, if I'll ever feel like I can do it.
I'm tired of feeling this way, tired of sitting here doing nothing, tired of making excuses for myself. But how do you get out of a rut? Especially when that rut is entirely created by your mind? It's like going through having to write my thesis all over again, and I don't want this to also become the painful process that I went through last year.
I'm tired.

Posted by Vanina | 17:41 | Comments (2)
2 Comment(s)
K said:
Hi Ruchika! I'm another lurker that has been reading this blog for a while. Now I am currently in the MPhil and just wanted to give a note of encouragement to both Ruchika and Vanina. Good luck!

ruchika singh said:
Hi Vanina, My name is Ruchika. I am a girl, living in Delhi and had found your blog when I was looking for something else. I added it to my favorite's list and would read it on and off. Three days back I read one of your posts where you had asked readers of your blog to get in touch with you, and that's when i decided i'll mail you. Your world seem so different- where you have travelled alone and to so many places, can live with the one you love and have graduated from Oxford. All this seems like a distant dream here except for the fact that i am also putting in my application this year at Oxford for the same course and if i get through it would be my one chance to see the world not seen by me till now. There are so many other things that are common but yet so different, that we can talk about provided you feel the same. Will wait for reply on {ruchi8419@gmail.com} as i cant write in absence of a valid mail id :) Take care for bad time seems eternal but does end and good things usher in.

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This page contains a single entry by Vanina published on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 17:41.

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Because a picture is worth a thousand words, and I cannot describe my life better than a picture can.
And because my heaven is here, I'll wrap the world around it and live in a cocoon. Quoting from a favourite song, 'Letting the cables sleep' by Bush, in its incarnation as a remix. And I do wish the friend who introduced me to the song was here to see the way things turned out.
The photos used on this site were all taken by me and can be found on my Flickr account.
This blog was opened on October 8th, 2002 and this version, the fifth, was uploaded on November 1st, 2007.

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