After two months of working hard within one of the departments here, and showing I could do the job better than anyone else in the office, I finally applied for the permanent position. And didn't get it. Why, you may ask? Because the other person had more experience - the other person who happens to be older than me, by at least five or six years, and has one shitty mail degree from the Open University, rather than my two from two universities in the top ten in the UK (don't think I have anything against degrees from the Open University; I only have something against not being given a job for silly reasons). So basically, despite how BASIC the job is and how OBVIOUS it is that I can do it, I am being punished for two things:
- something I have no control over, my age;
- something I should be praised for, the fact that I've decided to study for two degrees, from two excellent universities, including the one I'm applying to for the damn job!
And to add insult to injury, they want me to come back in January, as a temp, to show the new person how to do the job. Because of course, I'm not good enough to get the job, but I'm good enough to show someone how to do it. Which I find quite frankly insulting, and I doubt I'll do.
The fact of the matter is, I would have LOVED to work there. I think that came across during my interview; I feel so passionate about this, about working for students and academics, within one of the institutions that formed me. And somehow that counts for nothing, and it's made me incredibly upset. I'd started enjoying the office, that office, those people, and (stupid me), I'd started making plans.
I'm so glad I only have three more days to work there. And I'm not looking forward to going to work today with these humongous bags under my eyes from all the crying. I'll get through this one too, right?