January 2009 Archives

I go back and forth in my mind, and I keep wondering: why am I doing this? I thought getting a crappy admin job was about having time to think, but somehow I'm so wrapped in it I never seem to have time to think, or see my friends, or tell my friends anything interesting. I lack a purpose, and I don't know what to do. The only thing I know how to do is how to apply to these shitty jobs, because, well, they're admin, they're nothing. Finding something I actually want to do would imply I know what I want to do, and I really don't.
I know what's important to me - my life here with M, and my lovely friends, my family. But those are just the basics. There's a few frivolous things too, and then the mere urgency of having to 'put food on the table', so to speak. But none of these things can lead me to know what I want to do.
If money was not an issue, if I could do anything I wanted, I would set up things in a heartbeat. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lost along the way, why didn't I do this six years ago when the option was there? I don't regret any choices I made per se, I just regret letting go of all the other ones.
I just need to find out what I want to do.

Now that we live in a 'real' flat, my real obsession is decoration. I read decoration magazines (Living Etc. and Elle Decoration), half of my feeds are for decoration blogs and websites, all I think about is how I want some designer furniture. Owning a piece of designer furniture has even become one of my 43 things. Even if I need a decent computer chair far more than anything else (we made the mistake of buying this rather than an actual computer chair, all because I thought it was prettier... damn), my latest obsession is with small tables. Affordable side tables are what I'm all about, mainly because at the moment we are using two stools as bedside tables and two cheap-ish Ikea side tables in the living room, and I want individuality, something special. Also, having more (and nicer) small tables would allow me to display my lovely plants much better...
So. Here is my small table wishlist! And I might even be able to afford a couple of these in the next few months...

As you can see, I particularly love Kartell furniture - it's modern yet classic (the Louis Ghost Armchair is one of my all times favourites). Most of these pieces have been around for ten or twenty years (in terms of design), which means that my parents have owned most of them, and that makes it extra fun, the idea that my parents and I are somehow on a continuum of decoration taste. I think my first buy is going to be the componibili storage table, which I will use as a bedside table - I can't wait to have the money to order it!
Anyway, it's enough for now. One of these days I will post more wishlists... And possibly my collection of decoration links! Now off to bed and then work and then lunch and then more work...